


Broken Ships, Lost and New Friendships

by TheRegularWriter



Series: It's My Destiny to be the King of Pain [1]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Anxiety, Canon Divergence, Even if Steven doesn't appear here, Family, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I put the Lars & Steven tag bc Lars is totally his big bro, I'm Bad At Titles, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Light Angst, No seriously I literally struggled to come up with a title, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Platonic Relationships, Post-Episode: s05e25 Legs From Here to Homeworld, Self-Esteem Issues, So please cherish it, Spoilers for Episode: s05e25 Legs From Here To Homeworld, The least likely trio you'll ever see in this fandom, This fic is less angsty than what I usually write, Universe Alteration, Worry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-26
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-06-16 04:45:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 24,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15429318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRegularWriter/pseuds/TheRegularWriter
Summary: Lars and the Off Colors arrive on Beach City - only to find two giant hand ships lying on the shore, a busted beach house and meet a rainbow-haired gem who reveals them that Steven is gone.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Oh boy, I didn't expect to write another SU fic :'v This idea hit me so strongly that I couldn't just ignore! (Sorry to those who are still waiting for my Undertale fics to be updated, hhh)
> 
> Though I already warn you that the first chapter might be slow - and might not have a lot of angst (which is like, my passion) -, so I hope it's fine!
> 
> As always, I apologize for any writing mistakes and if the characters are OOC in any segment. Well, I still hope you enjoy this!

That view was one Lars had not expected to face again.

Earth.

Earth, the big, blue planet, beautiful in its own way, wonderful with the huge oceans and creatures of all kinds. Where everything organic was welcome, where imperfections could live there without being submitted to strict, genocidal laws that would eradicate them.

Earth, his beloved home.

It was somehow bigger than he had imagined, after coming across so many planets before. The sunlight nearly blinded everyone, as they all gazed at the front glass of the ship, awestruck, amazed.

"T... This is the Earth?" Rutile asked the captain, anyway, finding it incredulous.

Lars nodded. "Y... Yeah."

"It's... beautiful," Rhodonite said, breathless; even though they did not need to breathe at all.

"Won... der... ful," Fluorite added.

Lars shook his head once he realized he had been stuck in that endless gaze. There was no barrier stopping them. There was no Homeworld, no Emerald, whoever the heck that would have hunted them in every single corner. It was just him, his friends, his ship, facing the Earth without any signs of danger. It was... peaceful.

"Captain," Rutile called him, to get him of the trance he was still trapped in. "We await your command to land on the Earth's crust."

He blinked, his eyes locked into the Moon, but bringing himself to at least give the order.

"Alright," Lars spoke, not only to his crew, but also himself, as he somehow could feel his heart beating at a fast pace; which had never happened once in space, after everything they had gone through.

"Let's do this."

* * *

 

It was a matter of minutes before they spotted Beach City down there, illuminated by the sunlight. The ocean was wide and deep, frightening but beautiful, nonetheless. The sky was a wonderful mix of colors, as the sun set down in the horizon. The Off Colors contained a gasp at the sight, instead opting to focus on getting the ship to the ground.

Lars could feel thousands of feelings inside him, his desire to cry growing stronger at each second. He hadn't remembered how beautiful the beach was. It then became a nostalgic, melancholic memory, as if he had been in space for thousands of years; even though, were it not for the Sun Incinerator and its speed, they would have taken this long to get there indeed. Invading Yellow Diamond's asteroid mines had been totally worth it.

On the other hand, he could feel his stomach twisting and his heart beating faster than before at the thought of seeing everyone again. Of presenting himself like this - a dead, pink space pirate that had stolen a powerful, fast alien ship, and rescued his friends from a horrible dictatorship. He was nothing like the Lars they had all known. How would they react?

The captain was close to answering these questions as the distance between the ship and the beach shortened; that is, before he could hear gasps coming from the gems.

"W-What is  _that_?" Rhodonite asked, afraid.

Lars stood up, seeing as the Off Colors stared at the glass with scared looks. He was behind the Rutile Twins now.

"What's wrong?" He questioned.

The Rutiles had their eyes wide, fearful. They looked at the captain, helpless.

"T... Those are... Homeworld ships," One of them replied.

"Woah-  _what_?" The captain let out in shock. "S-Stop the ship."

They were able to interrupt the landing process. Only then did Lars acknowledge the... the giant ass hands - one was blue and the other, yellow. They were similar to that one... green hand that had come to Beach City not so long ago; perhaps one of the first Homeworld ships that had arrived on Earth while he existed.

Oh, no.

That was not a good sign.

"The colors..." The left Rutile whispered. "What if those ships were sent by..."

Lars knew what they were aiming at. The two colors that represented... two of the Homeworld rulers... were sending him shivers down his spine. It didn't help that Padparadscha told them her prediction.

"We will be landing! But... oh no, there will be two Diamond ships below us!" She gasped.

It was enough for them all to freak out.

"DIAMONDS?!" Rhodonite screamed. "Captain, this is insane, we can't just show up like this! We are  _criminals_!"

None of them were focusing. Lars was as frightened as them, but- freaking out had no good effects; he sure knew that.

"Guys-  _Guys_!" He raised his voice to catch their attention.

Immediately, their eyes all landed on him, as none of them could breathe; even though they didn't need to. Lars himself panted, obviously unsure of what to do with two Diamond ships on the beach.

"We can do this," He told them regardless.

"But those are the  **Diamonds** , captain!" Rhodonite pointed at the busted hand ships down there. "It's literally impossible to-!"

"Wait..." One of the Rutiles interrupted. "Those ships appear to... to have been damaged." "Look!"

The rebels looked down. As they analyzed better, Lars could tell the structures of both ships were fragile, cracked. Some pieces from the Yellow one, for instance, fell down and sank into the sea.

"Yeah," Lars' eyes widened in realization. "You're right."

"Oh, I am not sure about this," Rhodonite gulped. "S-Should we head to the Moon just in case-?"

"No," Lars gave her a sign with his hand for her to stop. "We're landing."

"B-But captain! What if this becomes dangerous?" She insisted. "W-What if-?"

"Hey, it's gonna be alright," He assured, despite his gut saying otherwise. "We've battled against hundreds of Agates, we've scared Emerald off and stole this ship! Whatever happens, we'll be ready for it!"

The Off Colors seemed to feel better about it, but none of them could take their eyes off of the Diamond ships. Lars himself gulped at the sight, fearing that something terrible must have happened. Interestingly enough, Beach City didn't seem to have been destroyed, so, hopefully, no war must have been declared. He wondered if the Crystal Gems were fine. If... Steven was fine, as he was still being hunted down by Homeworld. Shoot.

He took a deep breath.

"Come on, guys," Lars told them, getting them all out of the trance that would not stop creeping them out. "Let's land this baby for once and finally get home!"

"... baby?" Rutile asked.

"Nevermind, you get what I mean," Lars smirked. Sometimes he forgot the gems would take things literally. "Let's finish this landing!"

"Yes, captain!"

And so, they resumed.

They were almost there...

* * *

 

It was a matter of minutes before the ship landed on the sand. It wasn't perfect, due to the consistency of such soil, but the gems had done an amazing job.

The Off Colors, in spite of their fear of the possible Diamond presence, were awestruck by the beach, pointing at the grand ocean and the multi-colored sky. The sun was slowly setting down in the horizon, and the seagulls flew away to its direction.

Lars felt like he was new to Earth as he watched it all. Travelling around space could not be compared to the beauty of Earth, under no circumstances.

"How... beautiful..." Fluorite sighed, delighted.

"Welcome to Earth," Lars stated, words he had been dying (... wait) to say for who knew how long.

Were it not for those other ships, they would have all screamed in joy and excitement. He gazed at the blue and yellow structures that reflected the sunlight. He was determined to find out why those horrible tyrants had dared to harm his home; and he would be willing to kick them to a freaking black hole, if that were needed!

"Hm... this civilization doesn't appear to have been damaged," Rutile noted, becoming serious and analytical. "Despite the ships..."

"That's odd..." Rhodonite commented.

"Captain, strangers will be approaching the ship!" Padparadscha warned.

"Oh, my stars! A-Are they going to attack us?!" Rhodonite yelped.

"Wait, can you tell us what species they are?" Lars asked the orange Sapphire.

"It seems like they will all be humans!"

"Then they won't, Rhodonite," The captain replied the earlier question, internally relieved to hear that humans were safe and sound. "I know the humans here - maybe not every single one of them, but I can assure you that they won't hurt you."

"What will... they think of us?" Left Rutile wondered, appearing to be anxious.

"Trust me," Lars said, in a softer tone. "They're gonna love you - because you're all awesome and the greatest crew, and friends I could ever ask for."

The residents of Beach City, as weird as they were on a daily basis, were, in general, quite accepting. Not to mention they had somewhat lived among the Crystal Gems for like- thousands of years, so they would certainly not mind the Off Colors living there, either!

However, he was unsure of how they would... act upon seeing  _Lars_. Just spotting a few people going to the beach already made his gut twist in anxiety; and his heart still beat faster. He had no- no freaking  _idea_  what people would say upon seeing him like this.

But he was tired of running away. It did nothing good to him. So, he would have to... go down there, sooner or later.

In any case, the gems' faces lightened up, somewhat replacing the fear in them.

"A-Alright," Rhodonite sniffed. "Though I'm really concerned about t-the ships..."

"Yeah..." Lars took a deep breath. "Let's settle this.

He tapped his hand on the scanner, beside the exit door, welcoming the breeze hitting on his face; something that brought so much nostalgia that could have made him cry.

Stepping on sand, despite still wearing those black boots, was something he had never expected to miss. Sand was just... some stupid grains, all stuck together, that would have annoyed him once they flied to his face or somehow entered his shoes. Even then, that was a huge part of his home - besides the literal sense.

He heard gasps. Wide eyes, confused words and rambling. There weren't many people there - only Ronaldo (who already took pictures, how typical...) and some others he didn't really know.

Lars would have said something, but the words caught up in his throat, nearly choking him. Seeing... people again was the one thing that had haunted them the entire time he had been wandering around space. Luckily (he thought?), there weren't the closest people, like... his parents... or...  _Sadie_ ; he wasn't ready to see them just yet, after everything that had happened.

The Off Colors were right behind him, stepping slower than he did towards the townspeople.

"It's... It's Lars!" Ronaldo screamed. "Lars is back from space!"

The citizens approached more, asking thousands of questions, but none were spoken, as they were all shocked. Ronaldo, specifically, ran all the way, fushing over their arrival; though he kept on asking things about aliens and ships, and the Sun Incinerator. Ronaldo also tried to ask the others questions once he analyzed them, to the annoyance of Lars.

"If you're done harassing my friends, please, get out," The captain hissed.

"But you guys owe me a lot of explanation! And an exclusive interview for my blog!" Ronaldo had brought his camera with him, but Lars pushed him away before he could film any of them. The elder Fryman child left eventually, a deep sigh coming from the pink teenager.

"What was that device?" Rhodonite asked to him privately, in a lower voice.

"It's something humans use to, uh... record... live images," Lars shook his head. "I'll explain that later-"

"Guys!"

Lars was quick to acknowledge... Steven's father, Greg - who worked at the car wash, he thought -, running all the way there to reach them. He had a... cat in his hands, one with a scarred eye and the other, a charming tone of blue. Though... since when did they have a cat? He thought they only had Lion... or maybe Greg must have found it, who knew.

"You guys," He said, tired of running, Lars assumed. "I'm so glad you're-!"

Upon seeing them, Greg's smile... faltered. For some reason. Though he looked shocked, nonetheless. He then resumed his welcoming nature to greet Lars and the others.

"Oh! Lars!" Greg said. "You look, uh... pink - but it doesn't look bad, though! Steven sort of, uh, explained it to me."

"Oh, right..." Lars nodded awkwardly.

"Well, it's good to have you back, pal," Greg smiled. "You've been in outer space for a long time, now."

"Yeah," The pink teenager nodded, trying to avoid thinking about how Steven's father had seemed... disappointed just then. "It's great to be back."

The long-haired man appeared to be looking over Lars' shoulder, maybe to take a closer look to the Off Colors.

"Hello, I'm Greg Universe! You might know me as Steven's dad," He greeted them, raising his hand for them to shake; which, of course, was not something the gems knew. Not yet, that is.

"What is a 'dad'?" Rutile asked Lars.

"Oh, right," Greg cleared his throat. "Maybe you can explain that later to them."

Steven's dad looked at the Sun Incinerator, then at the sky. He would have said something else, but he shut his mouth. Greg shot a... strange look, one that implied... that he awaited something.

Something... else, that is.

Lars was about to ask him about the ships, but Padparadscha had another prediction before he could do so.

"Steven's... ‘dad’ will come to us with a strange, small creature!"

"What is that?" Rhodonite looked at the cat after the statement.

"This is, uh, a cat," Greg approached the animal, making the gems flinch. "Oh- she's not going to hurt you! She's pretty docile, actually. Look."

He caressed the cat, making it purr. The gems gasped.

"Why does it make that sound?" Right Rutile asked.

"Here, you can touch her," Greg tried to hand her to them, but Rhodonite stepped back.

"W-Wait! No!"

"You can trust him," Lars assured them. "It's not going to harm anyone, see?"

Rhodonite gazed at it with fear in her eyes. She held her own four hands, tempted to touch the cat, but afraid to do so.

"Go on," Greg encouraged her.

The cat titled its head a little, curious. The Rutiles imitated the act. Rhodonite approached, hesitant, one of her hands. Her fingers were then in contact with the fur.

"What a strange surface..." She muttered.

She moved her fingers softly, the cat purring again. Rhodonite looked at Lars with shock.

"C-Captain, it's doing it again!" She exclaimed, making the captain laugh. “And... it looks...  _amused_?”

The cat tried to reach her hand with its tiny paws, leading Off Colors to let out surprised sounds.

"See, there's no problem! I think she likes you," Greg smiled.

"It- She... likes me?" Rhodonite blushed, flustered.

The other gems started making many questions about cats and Steven’s father tried his best to answer them all. They wanted to pet the kitten, too. Lars smiled at the scene, but soon he found himself gazing at the Diamond ships again; noticing that... that the beach house - Steven's house, for that matter - was sort of busted, too. Though it appeared to have been repaired to some extent...

It was then that Lars heard the Cool Kids approaching.

"Oh my gosh, Lars!" Jenny exclaimed all of a sudden, Buck and Sour Cream running in his direction as well. "We just got here and- I can't believe it's really you!"

"Steven told us what happened, that you were abducted and sent to an alien planet," Sour Cream added. "Like- at first we thought you wouldn't come back!"

"But then he said you were heading home since you stole a space ship," Buck smiled, taking his glasses off for a moment to take a better look at the Sun Incinerator. "Which is really cool."

The Cool Kids seemed... rather happy. Happy to see him again. Even after... that potluck thing, they were just- glad to have him back.

"How did you turn pink?" Sour Cream wondered, raising an eyebrow.

Lars looked away in shame. That... would be hard to explain. He couldn't just tell them he had straight up...  _died_  and revived by Steven's healing powers. Though they must be aware of all the gem stuff Steven was involved in, it would be too much to clarify.

"It's, uh... kind of a long story," He cleared his throat.

"Well, it suits you," Buck complimented. "And I like the cape."

"Oh! T-Thanks," Lars felt his cheeks heating up, certain that he was blushing.

"So, you're a space pirate now? That's so rad!" Jenny said. "And those guys are your crew, right?"

"Yeah, well," Lars smiled at the gems behind him. "They're my friends. I've met them back in space and we've escaped the alien planet I was abducted to."

"Dude, you guys could have kicked ass if you'd gotten here sooner," Buck commented. "There were those- giant alien ladies right here on Beach City, and they were really mean."

Lars blinked, then remembering the Diamonds. The Off Colors shrank.

"Jeez, what- what happened here, you guys?" He asked.

Before any of them could answer, they were all interrupted by someone shouting from the beach house.

" **HEY**!"

A tall, buff figure ran in their direction in a matter of seconds. They had tattoos in their blue skin and rainbow hair. Their hands, instead of... being actual hands, they took the form of a weapon. Which was clear they were a gem.

But she appeared to be  _furious_.

"Who do you think you are to still come here?!" She demanded, scaring the Off Colors and the Cool Kids, but aiming for the former; Lars stepped forward immediately, to prevent her from advancing.

"Woah, woah! W-We're not enemies!" Lars tried to explain. "We've come in peace!"

"Hey, wait!" Greg stopped her. "They're not bad, seriously! He's Steven's friend and the gems must be good if they're with him!"

The gem raised her eyebrow and stepped towards Lars rather menacingly. She studied him, her face not softening with the way he was dressed, he supposed. Probably due to the cape; it had tricked Homeworld gems to believe he was some elite gem, after all.

"Oh, yeah?" She asked, the tone making it clear that she doubted his alliance with Steven. "You didn't  **betray**  him, did you?"

"N-No! I don't work for Homeworld, I would never do that! Y-You see," Lars cleared his throat. "It's a long story, but basically, I was, uh- a human that was abducted to Homeworld with Steven and- and I met them, and they were isolated for being 'flawed'," He pointed at his friends. "We're just a group of rebels that wanted to escape, and-"

"Oh! You're rebels, too?" The tone of her voice changed drastically, to one more... friendly. She even shapeshifted her hands into normal fingers, much to his relief. "How come you didn't say anything sooner?"

She laughed, much to Lars' confusion. From threatening she became amicable in a short amount of time. He admitted to feeling downright frightened of her, he swore there were sweat drops rolling down his head.

"The name's Bismuth," The gem introduced herself. "Member of the Crystal Gems; if you've heard of them before, I dunno what they taught you there... uh, sorry for nearly attacking you."

"Uh, it's... alright," Lars assured, clearing his throat. "I- I'm Lars, and uh," They pointed at all of them in order. "These are Rutile, Rhodonite, Padparadscha and Fluorite. They know the Crystal Gems, too. We're on your side."

"Great!" Bismuth grinned. "Welcome aboard, y'all!"

She slapped Lars' back with such force, it could have broken his bones; though he assumed that Steven's powers had somehow made him... more resistant. It didn't mean that he wouldn't feel pain, though.

"Th... anks..." He gave her a thumbs up regardless.

Bismuth frowned, having realized something.

"Wait, how do humans change color?" She asked, looking at Greg. "Or are you guys born like that sometimes?"

"It's, well... Lars was... injured and Steven's healing powers did that," Greg whispered, possibly respecting that Lars didn't want anyone to know he had died; the pink teenager silently thanked him for that.

"Oh, alright, then," Bismuth nodded, her focus back to the Off Colors in an instant. "Now, let me take a look at you, folks!"

She went over to analyze the gems better, not forgetting to compliment them in the meantime. They were intimidated at first, but seeing as Bismuth was being nice, they just went with it. Lars wondered if that was the one Bismuth that had built 'weapons for rebels instead of towers for tyrants', like Garnet had told him and his crew back in space. He wondered how he had never seen her before, since the gems, while not that sociable, would always show themselves in the middle of humans. Well, he would have to ask that later, maybe.

Lars' eyes then landed back on the two damaged ships there. He frowned in realization and directed to Bismuth.

"H... Hey, Bismuth? And Mister Universe?" He asked.

"Oh- yes?" The blue gem turned around, smiling, but it faltered as soon as she realized how serious he became.

"Can you tell us what... what happened here?" Lars pointed at the ships.

Bismuth and Greg became a little uneasy, but the former proceeded to answer.

"Oh, right..." She sighed. "The Diamonds arrived to personally... destroy the Earth - but they're not here anymore. After Steven was able to talk things out to them, they've gone back to Homeworld and he went along, so they could, well... settle some matters."

Lars blinked. "Wait...  _Steven_  went to Homeworld?"

"Yeah, well..." Bismuth rubbed the back of her own neck.

"But- how come he just- went there? W-Was he-" His eyes widened. "Was he actually captured?!"

"No! No," Bismuth immediately rephrased. "They weren't gonna hurt him. They went there for... diplomatic reasons."

"What?" Rutile spoke.

"How was he able to do that?" Rhodonite wondered.

"Yeah, like-  _nobody_  gets to- to  **talk**  to the Diamonds like that- not even Steven!" Lars remarked, recording the Trial. While having not heard a thing there, he had noted how Steven had tried to talk to the gem rulers, but they would only look down to him. They would have murdered him, if they'd gotten the chance! So how had Steven convinced them not to hurt him?!

Bismuth let out a deep sigh, as if... there was something she wanted to tell them but didn't have the courage to. She seemed... exhausted and concerned, and somewhat... guilty.

"Look, from what I see," She started. "Steven didn't tell you about...  _this_."

"W-What is it?" Lars insisted.

She shut her eyes for a moment before spitting it out.

"You know that, uh... Steven has Rose Quartz's gem, right?" She asked. "And that Rose was the leader of the Crystal Gems?"

"Y... Yeah, of course," Lars nodded, not quite liking where this was going, despite not being so sure what she meant. "Garnet told us everything about her."

"But... she didn't tell you the truth."

They were awfully lost. Had Garnet lied to them about Rose? Why would she do that? What had happened?

"What..." "What do you mean?" Rutile asked.

Bismuth's eyes showed deeper feelings; feelings of regret, of... of being unable to get past something, no matter how hard she would try. Greg looked away, also expressing that. She raised her head and finally revealed:

"Rose Quartz... was Pink Diamond."

The Off Colors gasped.

...

...

"Who?" Buck asked, breaking the dead silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully this will have two or three chapters as a whole again, but I'm not so sure when I'll get to update this since school is starting next week already :< But I'll let you guys know!


	2. Chapter 2

"Wait, hold on- let me get this straight:

"Pink Diamond somehow made her gem look like a Rose Quartz and so she lived two completely different lives - in which she was a Homeworld ruler  _and_  the leader of the Rebellion. Which- Which means that gems fought against one another to defend the same person and- and literally  _no one_  ever recognized her voice? Just like that?

"So then Pink- Rose, whoever she was, decided to fake her own shattering to free herself, but to do so, she had to force Pearl to keep her mouth shut, make everyone miserable, even the Diamonds, to the point of them attempting to destroy the  _entire freaking planet_  and- and corrupting every remaining gem but some of her friends and herself? None of the Crystal Gems but Pearl knew about anything? AT ALL?

"B-But most importantly, Steven has Pink Diamond's gem, thus making him a DIAMOND, and HE had to go to Homeworld to settle an agreement with the other Diamonds because of everything  **his mother**  did?!"

Bismuth shrugged in response, much to Lars' disbelief.

"Pretty much," She replied.

The captain, incredulous, blinked his eyes multiple times, as it seemed as though he was still struggling to come to terms with such information; which was to be expected. He started walking in circles around the porch of the beach house - as the inside was not adequate for a numerous group of people, and especially not for a six-gem fusion like Fluorite -, while the Off Colors stood by, in a dead silence that hit Bismuth (figuratively, she supposed) a lot harder than she had expected.

It had not been easy to explain everything - about Rose, about the War, the gem corruption and all the diplomatic issues Steven had to undertake. The blacksmith had done her best to give the newcomers every single detail, forcing herself to remember everything Steven had told her back in that... bubble room at the Temple.

Although she had expected to have accepted it, as soon as the words came out of her own mouth, reality hit her as painfully as when Rose's sword had stabbed her body and destroyed her physical form; Bismuth had looked up to her leader for so many years and, despite having not exactly been surprised after realizing how little sense everything had made, it didn't mean it wouldn't be harmful. Rose had made her who she was - a fighter, a friend, one that saw worth in the organic life and the freedom of gems. Therefore, the realization that Rose Quartz never truly existed was not one everyone would be willing to accept.

The Crystal Gems had almost broken apart, going as far as to have Garnet split up - were it not for the beautiful love Ruby and Sapphire had for one another. Even then, the rainbow-haired gem was sure none of them could process it so easily. It didn't help that they had Steven go to Homeworld and take the role of Pink Diamond.

The weirdly pink human had not yet said anything, apart from nonstop muttering. His friends presented the same behavior. Meanwhile, Greg glanced at Bismuth with an apprehensive look, as the small cat laid on his arms. The blue gem wasn't aware of what Garnet had told the Off Colors, but she assumed they must have admired Rose as well - even though none of them had known her so well. The looks in their faces made that clear, much to Bismuth's guilt.

Lars then turned his body, as he could finally speak.

"I-I don't- I can't even..." He struggled to come up with words. "I don't even... know what- what to  _say_... about all this."

It led Bismuth to let out a hollow laugh.

"It's alright," She assured. "You don't have to."

The blacksmith let out a sigh while Lars stared at her with a look of perplexity, hiding some sort of... frustration. She crossed her arms, looking away. She didn't know what the other gems would say; maybe nothing, either.

"Well, I guess..." "We shouldn't exactly... be surprised," The Rutiles said.

"We have always... been told... distortions of who... she really... was," Fluorite added, sighing.

"B-But still, it's-" Rhodonite groaned in defeat. "I mean- I know we've always been told different stories and none of them turned out to be true, but... after what Garnet told us, I really thought she... she was amazing, a... a true hero. I- I had hope because of her, and now... I don't- I don't know. I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be." Bismuth smiled sadly. "We've all been wrong about her."

"Oh no, Steven must be Pink Diamond, then!" Padparadscha gasped.

"Yeah..." Greg sighed beside Bismuth, the first thing he said after so long. He had not said anything during the latter's narration, for that matter. She was aware that the man had some sort of feelings for Rose and everything; but she assumed he was worried about Steven more than anything, judging by the timing of his response.

Rhodonite didn't add anything, instead lowering her head. In the meantime, Lars stared at the wooden floor, frowning.

"W... What about Steven?" He asked. "And the others?"

"Yeah, are the Diamonds just... fine with them now?" Rhodonite questioned. "T-They're still rebels and all that..."

"I... I guess so," Greg replied. "Since they do... seem to care for Pink Diamond, then I assume they would do anything for her- Steven, in this case."

"But like- are they coming back?" Lars insisted.

Bismuth's eyes widened at the question while Greg bit his lip. By the tone of the pink human's voice, she could tell he was not optimistic in the slightest. Just hinting that Steven and the others might not come back was enough to scare her.

"Well, we- don't know  _when_ ," Greg cleared his throat. "But they must, at some point! He'll do whatever he needs to, and everything will be okay!"

Lars, however, didn't seem any more confident. Well, Bismuth... must have an idea as to why: Rhodonite had brought up an important matter - about the Diamonds, and maybe even Homeworld as a whole, accepting Steven and the Crystal Gems. While Greg must be... right about Blue and Yellow caring about Pink, to some extent, there was an utterly concerning thought that would not leave her alone.

... White Diamond.

As she remembered the time Steven had revealed Blue and Yellow the corrupted gem - Nephrite, if memory served her right -, the mere mention of White had caused everyone to shiver. Even the two Diamonds, which was not a good sign.

_White Diamond isn't like us. She isn’t even like them._

Bismuth had no idea how White Diamond was - how she looked like, how she behaved... although she was aware the Diamonds were not to be trusted (though her feelings for Rose were quite complicated to include her in that), the fact that White could be  **worse**  was frightening.

She had trouble trying to convince herself that Steven might make things different and convince the matriarch to help them out, but... part of her doubted it.

_You have no idea what she's capable of!_

 

"Then... Then what?" Lars asked, leading Bismuth to shake her head.

"Huh?"

"What do we do? Do we just- wait for them to get back?"

"If it's a diplomatic trip..." "Then it might take a while for them all to come to a solution," Rutile concluded.

"I guess you could say that," Greg said. "There's... nothing much we can do, now. It's up to Steven and the Diamonds now."

"He's right," Bismuth agreed.

Lars sighed, pulling his own pink hair. The other gems seemed to be at loss of what to do next.

"So, we just... stay here while they're gone?" Rhodonite asked.

"Well, yeah," Bismuth replied. "If you want to."

"Oh! You guys can explore the town! It's your first time here, right?" Greg's face lightened up for the first time. "There are plenty of things you guys can do here on Earth! You're free to do anything you want!"

"Hey, yeah!" Bismuth added in enthusiasm. "I haven't been here for a long time, but this place is wonderful. You should definitely go out there and explore!"

"The humans here are all very nice! And you can discover new things and- oh, Lars can introduce you to his friends and family!"

"Right," The pink human, however, didn't seem very... excited to do so. "Right..."

The Off Colors seemed somewhat thrilled by Greg's suggestions, but they were quick to acknowledge their captain's indignant expression. Greg lost part of his smile while Bismuth rubbed the back of her head.

"Uh- oh, it's getting dark," The man noted, leading everyone to look at the sky. The first stars showed up above them, as well as the moon, in the purple... ish blue sky?

"How interesting... the sky had all these... colors filling it just then." "And it was illuminated by an orange... yellow light, too..." The Rutiles commented.

"Heh, it's an Earth thing," Bismuth chuckled. "Everything's always changing."

"How... fascinating." Fluorite and the others gazed at the sky with admiration.

"Anyway," Greg resumed. "Maybe you guys could, uh... take a rest? It must have been a long way for you to get here - considering you came from Homeworld, right..."

Not to mention everything they had been told, Bismuth wanted to add, but decided to remain quiet. Her look must have given it out, considering that Lars looked at her in the meantime.

"Y... Yeah, I guess you're right," Lars' tone expressed the agitation he had, much like Bismuth herself; she clenched and unclenched her fists.

She didn't want to hide the uncontrollable fear she had of White Diamond, but she... didn't know her that well. She knew the Diamonds were all to be feared. White then... was something else. Not like Blue or Yellow, and  _especially_  not like Pink.

Even then, the Off Colors had just gotten to Earth. Like Greg said, they all needed rest. Even though gems didn't exactly need to sleep, but assuming they had gone through the craziest battles and adventures in outer space (which she would make sure to know all the details!), then they ought to take a break. They had a lot to do when it came to Earth, a new planet for them (except for Lars, she supposed; he had been abducted to Homeworld before turning pink, right?).

And maybe, maybe everything would end up well. Steven was capable of doing many things, things that not even Rose would have, and that no one would have imagined. So, the blacksmith tried to maintain her hopes.

She tried hard. So hard...

...

"Well, if the house wasn't busted, then we could invite you over," Greg said, laughing.

"Thanks, we'll... get to our ship."

"Hm, okay. I'll be here with Bismuth to help her with the tools and everything," Greg said. "Though if you need anything later, I'll be sleeping in my van - it's like a vehicle with 'Mr. Universe' written on. It's right next to the beach, over there," Greg pointed at the van he owned and slept in; Bismuth wondered how humans were able to sleep literally everywhere...

"And I'll remain here, so count on us with everything!" Bismuth managed to smile at them, despite her crippling feelings of fear that no one seemed to notice; if... not for Lars. He would glance and frown at her.

"Thank... you," Fluorite said. "We... are glad... to finally... be... here."

"Steven will still be gone," Padparadscha stated sadly.

Bismuth glanced at Greg, whose gentle, calm smile disappeared within seconds. She could hear the pink human sighing in response, too.

"C'mon, guys," Lars beckoned his crew. "We've got to use some rest before getting to know my home better."

"Good night, y'all," Greg said.

"Night."

"Say 'good night'," He told the cat, which... 'meowed'?

Rhodonite couldn't contain the little smile forming on her face, while her eyes sparkled, and her cheeks became significantly darker. Yet the Off Colors soon made their way back to the sand, thus to the ship that still stood there. Bismuth and Greg watched the scene with sad looks.

"You know, you'd better get rest, too, Greg," The gem noted. "We've been working really hard these days. And for now I don't really need to do anything with the tools. Not when it's already... 'night', anyway."

"Yeah... are you doing something else, then?"

"Eh, not really. I'll just look after those two gems, y'know?" Bismuth pointed at the window of the house.

"Oh, well... I was considering having some pizza for dinner," Greg revealed. "Would you like some?"

She would have asked him what 'pizza' was, but soon was familiarized with the word - as well as the memory of that food ritual Steven had presented her before. She hadn't really had something to eat since she had returned from being... bubbled for the second time. It had only been a matter of- what, two or three days after the Diamond invasion?

"Sure thing! I haven't had the chance to perform the pizza ritual in a while," Bismuth smiled. "But- wait, how are we going to have it without Steven here? Only he knows how to do it, right?"

"Huh? No, no! There's a place where people deliver pizza!"

"Really?" She asked, surprised. "I thought only Steven and the Crystal Gems knew about the pizza ritual!"

"It's actually a human thing," Greg laughed. "That place I'm talking about is a restaurant. There are humans there who make pizza. And there are a lot of other restaurants where other people make different kinds of food!"

Bismuth blinked at the fact. For a while, Steven was the only human she had thought to have knowledge of the pizza tradition. Besides, she had only gone through some parts of the town with Greg; but all they had done was to find a place to get some building tools - such as wood and all that. Neither had quite had the time to share food or anything. And Bismuth would go to her forge on a daily basis as well.

"Oh, wow!" She exclaimed. "I would like to go to a restaurant one day; just not today because I still gotta make sure Peridot and her friend are okay."

"Yeah, okay! Well, could you, uh, take care of her for me?" He handed her the blue-eyed cat.

"Oh, sure." Bismuth smiled at the small feline in her hands. "I'll be waiting here."

"I'll be right back!"

Greg was then gone to the city. The blacksmith looked at the animal, which stared at her back. She sighed while it titled its head in curiosity, as if it were asking her what was bothering her; it must be smart enough to have noticed how uneasy she felt. She wished she could tell it everything, but she was sure it wouldn't understand anything about the gem things that revolved around her and her loved ones. So, she placed it on the floor and opened the door, looking at the cat with a sad smile.

"Let's get in, little friend," Bismuth said.

Once the cat followed her command, the gem glanced at the Diamond ships, which reflected the moonlight. She frowned and lowered her head, finally deciding to enter the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might post the next chapter before september ends, but I'm not making any promises, so please don't rush me if that doesn't happen!
> 
> By the way, I would like to thank you all for the support! I wasn't expecting this story to get as much attention as it did, to be honest xD And I hope this chapter was fine, since it's my first time writing in Bismuth's POV


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here it is!!!
> 
> though tbh,,, I'm a little worried the characters might be OOC in this chapter in particular, so I'm sorry if that's the case :'O

So... that was it.

Steven had just gone back to the very place that had once been against him and would have killed him if the chance had been given. He had gone back to Homeworld with everyone else - even his human friend Connie. Lars hoped nothing horrible would happen to any of them, and especially not her; given how his first trip to the alien planet had not been at all pleasant.

It was... too much for his head. To think that Rose Quartz had been Pink Diamond and had hid everything from her friends. Although she had saved the planet and everything, the thought of many gems dying to defend a fake, ideal symbol - in both sides of the war -, and not to mention the ones that had gotten corrupted, and- and incorporated in a giant gem shard fusion beneath the Earth's crust... It was honestly just- revolting.

Not to mention that the impact Rose/Pink Diamond had on everyone's lives would be overwhelming; Steven, a fourteen-year-old boy, had to deal with all the diplomacy, because his mother had not done things more wisely. That, and also... the fact that his friends had been inspired by her story. It was what had boosted their confidence. They had already been skilled gems in fighting, but after what Garnet had told them, their performances and skills had made Lars even prouder than ever.

So, to no longer find the admiration and light in the eyes of the Off Colors haunted him to no end. And the thought of Steven back there... it was not any reassuring.

Lars hadn't known Homeworld that long. He had been there once, yet it had changed his life forever. From the stories he had heard from his friends, the alien planet was a horrible place to live, where they would kill those that would not fit their patterns. Everyone in that planet absolutely despised Rose Quartz - and even if she was Pink Diamond, the captain was... not quite sure whether  _every single gem_  in the planet would be accepting of the truth. Pink had still faked everything, had been a rebel, and he assumed many would get revolted. He- just knew it. Even if Blue and Yellow Diamond apparently cared enough about Pink Diamond, that possibility could not be dismissed.

This- This  **sucked**.

Lars let out a groan, sinking into his seat. The rest of the Off Colors were standing in the same room, staring at the glass in front of them, which revealed the night sky and the long, long sea. Several stars shone in the blackness, among the Moon. The pink human would have been awestruck, once more, by the beauty of Earth he had so long missed; but given the circumstances, he could not find himself pleased.

The more he thought about Steven on Homeworld, the less optimistic he was - and that came from the least optimistic person you would ever know. Lars did believe in Steven; that boy had done some of the most amazing things anyone had ever seen. However, knowing from the short time he had been stuck there, Homeworld was terrible, and the pirate couldn't reassure himself anymore.

The dead silence that filled the environment did not help him, either. He began tapping his fingers in the arm seat on impulse, unsure of what to do next. Though he did remember the suggestions Greg had given them - to explore the Earth, to cherish all the great things it had to offer, to... meet his parents.

Thinking about his loved ones would only make all the mixture inside his mind a lot harder to swallow and reflect. Maybe it- it was selfish of him. To not... go home right away to greet his mom and dad; or even... Sadie. Yet, he hated to admit how terrified he was of the thought of them seeing him like this. After everything that had happened...

And Lars doubted he could- even be home without the Crystal Gems there.

He pressed his hand against his forehead. A quite unpleasant feeling started crawling his gut and trying to escape his throat. Lars could not keep himself perfectly still after some time, feeling as though he would panic at any moment; even if he should be happy, he should be glad he had gotten home at all. But there was no Steven and absolutely no clue when or  _if_  he was returning at all.

 _Oh, what a **mess** , _He thought, letting out a shaky sigh.

Being a space pirate, associated with the son of a former, controversial empress was just...  _ugh_.

 

"We... We should have known."

The disappointment in Rhodonite's voice caught his attention, bringing him to turn around to her. She held her own four hands, staring at the floor. Her frown had grown deeper since they had left Steven's house.

"I mean- we can't... d-deny she saved Earth and all," The fusion tried to rephrase. "And- maybe I shouldn't... be feeling this way, but I thought...

"If a gem was capable of fighting back, then- then I could be, too! E-Even if we had never known much about her before, hearing that story... had given me so much hope and... now I don't feel any better, remembering I had only started fighting because of someone who had... faked everything, who had... led countless gems to perish in order to fight for... for something that was not even real."

Hearing that only made Lars feel worse. The defeat in Rhodonite's tone was hard to swallow, to believe it was entering his ears at all. Despite having expected that reaction, having to explicitly prove it was horrible, nonetheless.

The others had not added anything, but they all had the same quiet look of disappointment; which would feed a growing feeling of anger that suddenly resonated inside him. Not towards the Off Colors, of course, but towards everything that had happened in the past, and everything war-related. He couldn't let Rose's misdeeds discourage his friends like that. It was  **not**  fair.

"But you  _are_  capable," The captain said, his tone serious. "You guys did awesome things even before you knew who she was! You were able to break the system and- and gosh, if it weren't for you guys, we wouldn't have stolen this ship, we wouldn't have gotten to Earth in the first place! We are our  _own_  rebellion!

"Though, like, I get that- that she was an icon to you, and I'm... I'm sorry about the revelation. But her being Pink Diamond doesn't change  _any_  of what I just said, do you understand?"

The gems had this questioning look in their faces. In fact, it almost seemed as though there was a little hope in their eyes. However, Rhodonite, being openly the least confident gem in the crew, she did not appear to feel better.

"Even then," Rhodonite sighed, her voice nearly as quiet as a whisper. "You're the one who really got us out of there, Lars. We- We were just... cowards."

Lars could not actually believe those words were spoken. His reaction lead Rhodonite to avoid his look of disbelief and hurt.

"W...  _What_?" He let out, shaking his head. "You don't...  **actually**  think like that, do you?"

The silence that followed only lead him to stare at them in utter incredulity. Yes, Lars did have the advantage of not having a gem, so he was able to slip past Homeworld's robonoids and everything, but the Off Colors were the ones that had lived in Homeworld for thousands of years and had far better knowledge of an alien planet than he did. He wouldn't have gotten out of the Kindergarten if it hadn't been for them, for crying out loud!

"No," Lars let out a hysterical laugh. "No, c-come on, guys, don't- don't  _say_  that! You are amazing, for Christ's sake-!"

"Whoever Christ is, you can't deny that!" Rhodonite raised her voice, much to the captain's disbelief; he took a step back as a result. "We never did anything on our own, we only got out of Homeworld because of  _you_! A-And knowing that at least one gem decided to fight back and made a difference before, it- it meant something to us! B-But now it's just another reminder that we are still worthless!"

Her face almost immediately showed regret and shock over her own outburst. The other gems were as surprised; yet Lars in particular was downright hurt, heartbroken. Rhodonite covered her own mouth with her upper hands. He could tell she was shaking and- even expecting him to lash out at her.

Yet Lars couldn't say anything. He only stood there, clenching and unclenching his fists.

"I- We..." Rhodonite still tried to say something, but the words caught up in her mouth, preventing her from creating actual sentences.

"Rhodonite..." Fluorite called her name, as she would reach her shoulder with one of her many arms; yet Rhodonite was fast enough to escape to the engine room downstairs.

"Rhodonite, wait!" Rutile screamed, following her and leaving Lars with Fluorite and Padparadscha.

The trio remained silent; were it not for the orange Sapphire, who let out a small gasp and covered her mouth, possibly as a reaction to what Rhodonite had said and done.

"Captain... are you... alright?" Fluorite focused on the pink teenager, who had not said anything since.

Lars lowered his head, his face twitching. Tears began to take their form, and to blind his vision slightly. He clenched his fists, which began trembling.

"I'm... I-I'm..." His voice was tiny for a moment. He gulped and tried to speak again: "I'm sorry."

"Do not... worry," Fluorite tried to be assuring, even if... her tone implied otherwise.

Lars sniffed, still not looking at them; yet the shy touch of Padparadscha's hand against his own caused him to look at her. She managed to caress his hand, as a way to comfort him.

"Lars will be feeling guilty," She predicted, sounding very sad.

Despite agreeing with Rhodonite, Padparadscha was willing to comfort him; which didn't make him feel so much better, once he stopped to think about it.

Lars could never understand what they had all been through; even if he did have an idea, the Off Colors had been isolated from the Homeworld society, because of how they looked and of the choices they had made. They could have been  _killed_  if the other gems had had the chance. Having a leader like Rose was what served to be the light of hope for them. Lars, on the other hand... was not a gem. He was a human, that had had a good life, but had taken everything for granted. He was afraid of showing his true self, but that was because  **he**  was a coward. Not them; they didn't have a choice.

He couldn't... help them. Nothing he did was- ever  _enough_ , anyway.

...

The pink pirate kindly pushed Padparadscha's hand away and walked up to the exit. His hand went for the control panel that would open the door compartiment.

"Where... are you... going?" Fluorite asked.

"I'll... stay outside for a bit," Lars swallowed, as the breeze hit his face. "I need some fresh air."

"Lars will be leaving," Padparadscha said, worried.

He glanced over at the two of them. Fluorite looked at the floor, seeming guilty. Padparadscha aimed her head at him and appeared to be concerned. Lars let out a deep sigh and turned around.

"I'll be right back," He told them, although not being so sure about it.

With that, Lars jumped out of the ship, the exit closing behind him.

* * *

 

The previous nights in Beach City had been characterized by the beautiful starry sky and peace; that one in particular, however, stood out from the others. Maybe it was due to the moon, which was significantly bigger than usual, alluring all the passionate human eyes.

Greg hummed a song to himself by the time he caught the beach on sight. The box of pizza he carried warmed his hands, the smell of the cheese and tomato sauce lead his stomach to rumble as it entered his nose. A big smile formed across his face; he had not had pizza in a while. Not since...

...

The bittersweet reminder that the Crystal Gems were not there - and the thought of Steven being very fond of that particular flavor, which happened to be Greg's favorite, too - led the man to lose his joy; which had already been lost, taken to outer space, and... with no hopes of coming back soon.

...

Well, Garnet had at least assured him Steven would be fine. Given she had future vision, Greg tried his best to remain optimistic, even if the past days without the Crystal Gems had been a bit hard to accept and get used to. He was sure that was what Steven would have wanted him to do, rather than just worrying constantly. Despite the difficulties, some good things were to be considered. He and Bismuth were making great progress in repairing the beach house and looking after Peridot and Lapis Lazuli. The gems would be proud of them, he was sure of that. At one time they would also take those Diamond ships off the beach, too; though they didn't have enough time... nor strength. In fact, maybe Lars and the Off Colors could help them with that! When they were able, of course; they still had a whole world to explore!

He might not be there to protect Steven (and he probably couldn't, in the middle of an alien planet), but he at least supported his son and helped in his own way. Steven would most definitely be proud. Greg just... hoped he could see his boy again shortly. Other than that, life was good; sometimes hard to get by, but still good.

Mister Universe reached the sand and was making his way to the beach house... when he came across a tall, familiar figure that stood by the Diamond ships, and the Off Colors' one. The waves were the only ambient noise, apart from the breeze that would hit his ears and long hair one time or another. Greg raised an eyebrow, at first assuming it just might be someone interested in the Homeworld ships, but, as he approached more, he was able to recognize Lars Barriga, staring at the lonely sea, at such lonely place...

Greg admitted being a little confused at first, having expected Lars to remain inside the ship with the newcomers. Instead, the pink teenager was just... there. He didn't do anything other than to gaze at the horizon, with the moonlight reflecting on the water. His bright pink hair danced around with the wind, only then leading Greg to acknowledge it had grown quite a bit, becoming messier. Lars no longer wore the cape he had once used, thus looking more like a regular teenager who just wanted some alone time with his precious home.

Although being comprehensive of that, Greg didn't feel like just walking past him without saying at least 'hi'. He was just used to doing that to everyone, without exception; even though he and Lars had never quite interacted, given how the boy would spend most of the time inside the Big Donut, as far as he had known.

"Hey, Lars!" Greg greeted him.

Lars jumped in surprise, turning around and revealing a shocked face.

"Oh, sorry! I didn't mean to scare you," The older man chuckled. "Just wanted to say hi."

The teenager sighed in relief, followed by a... rather tired, sad smile.

"Oh, hi, Mister Universe," Lars said. " _I_  should be sorry, though, I didn't really hear you coming."

"Nah, it's alright. I see you've been chilling around here. It sure is a nice night tonight, huh?"

"Yeah... it is."

Greg could not ignore the sadness that suddenly grew in Lars' expression.

"Hey, are you okay?" The man asked.

Lars shrugged in response rather than saying anything. He didn't look at him anymore, much to Greg's suspicion; the voice tone and behavior were things he had been a bit too familiar by then, having had... similar occasions with Steven before. Except Lars was a more reserved kid when it came to express his feelings; he was aware of that thanks to the older boy's parents, who had somewhat interacted with him sometime before; as well as Sadie, having become closer to her due to the fact that he was the manager of her band.

Before Greg could ask Lars again, the teenager ended up saying what was wrong, as he looked... defeated.

"My friends and I, we... we fought."

Greg admitted he had not seen that coming.

"Oh, really? Why is that?" He asked.

Lars sighed deeply. "It's kinda about... Rose."

The pain was clear in the pink boy's expression, as he shut his eyes. Greg then couldn't take his eyes off of the long scar that stretched in his face, a detail he had not given much attention to, when he had greeted him. Regardless, the older man shook his head and let out a sigh as well.

"Oh, gee, I'm... I'm sorry," Greg said, somehow feeling guilty.

"You don't have to be."

Greg knew that, but he couldn't help the feeling. He rubbed the back of his own head, as Lars turned his back and hugged himself. Mister Universe could understand what the Off Colors must be going through; even though they hadn't been close to Rose like the Crystal Gems, he assumed they must have been inspired by her, too. And after the events that had almost torn the Crystal Gems apart, he was then not... this surprised. Yet it hurt him to see Lars and his friends so down, when they had finally gotten to Earth at all.

"Like, they've never been this... confident about themselves," Lars broke the long silence, which did surprise Greg a little, as he hadn't expected the other to say something else at all. "But Rose... she inspired them so much and..."

The captain shut his eyes, letting out a shaky breath.

"I wish I could- help them feel better," Lars admitted. "But it's- it's just not enough. They won't- listen to me when I tell them how great they are."

"I think you should give them some time," Greg advised. "I don't think there's much you can do right now. I'm sorry for saying this, but... it's true."

Lars let out a hollow laugh. "Apparently, I can't help  _anyone_  right now- not Steven, not the Off Colors... I guess I really am just useless."

The teenager muttered under his breath, "Which is nothing new."

Greg sighed deeply, not quite knowing what to say to him; as he did understand how Lars must be feeling. At some point, he wouldn't see worth in himself, either, since he hadn't found himself useful to help the Crystal Gems out.

The two ended up silent, staring at the sea. Greg glanced at Lars' ship, thinking about how the Off Colors were reacting to it all. The man's gaze soon returned to Lars, whose look was filled with guilt and hurt. The sight of that pained Greg a little.

Mister Universe looked towards the beach, realizing there was only the two of them. Greg wondered what could... make Lars feel better. He- He was home, after all, there must be something to make him happier. Maybe one of his friends, or- or his parents!

... wait, he didn't get to reunite with his family, right?

"You didn't get to see your parents, huh?" Greg asked. "Maybe you could-"

"No," Lars cut him off, rather bitterly. "I'd rather... not do that just yet."

It caught him by surprise. It must have been, what,  _two_   _months_  since Lars had gone to space. Mr. and Mrs. Barriga had had a very hard time to cope with the absence of their son, barely showing up in town at all. So, seeing Lars wish that, taking into account how much everyone suffered, was just- shocking.

"What? But- But why?" Greg questioned, sounding incredulous. "You've been away for so long and- and you don't even want to tell them you're here?"

Lars didn't answer. He clutched his own space suit, while lowering his head as to hide his face from the older man.

"Come on, Lars," Greg insisted. "Your parents have been worried sick - you can't just-!"

"This is the  _last_  thing I need right now!" Lars raised his voice. "I can't just- go home and pretend things are fine when they are NOT!"

He stepped towards Greg, who backed off in response. The pink boy shot him a furious glare, only for it to fade away within seconds; Lars' face softened into one of shame and exhaustion. He almost fell on the sand, standing on his knees instead.

"I'm- I'm sorry," Lars sighed. "It's just... there's too much in my head- I'm not well with the fact that Steven is in space, and that my friends are all upset about everything. And- to have my parents asking me about... all  **this** ," He pointed at himself as a whole. "I just- can't face them right now."

Lars' eyes aimed at the Diamond ships once more, while Greg watched him; his eyes suddenly seemed a lot deeper than they were, perhaps as deep as the ocean. It was like... they hid many insecurities and repressed thoughts.

" Yeah, I... get how you feel," The long-haired man replied afterwards, as he reflected on the other's situation.

Steven had somewhat explained to Greg what had happened to Lars back on Homeworld; for him to become pink and to escape with a group of rebel gems. Thus, Greg figured that Lars... still couldn't bring himself to process everything that happened at such a rapid rate in his life; not to mention that his friends had fought and that the all the Crystal Gems (including Connie) had gone off to Homeworld, with the exception of Bismuth, Peridot, Lapis and Greg himself; though, well, he couldn't quite label himself as a Crystal Gem, no matter how much Steven wanted to include him. That gem stuff just wasn't for him.

And he figured that Lars had dealt with it for too long as well. After all, the poor boy was just a human being. Someone who had been taken away from home and abducted to a dangerous alien planet. In spite of all the changes he had gone through, he was still a teenage boy. All he needed was a break.

Although Greg didn't quite like the thought of Lars being there without his parents even knowing (and god, did he know their pain; when Steven had gone to space without anyone to look out for him, he had been incredibly desperate, at loss of what to do), he didn't want to force the space pirate to head home - not when he had this huge weight crushing him. He needed somewhere else to cool down, to let his thoughts out; and the beach might be the best choice.

However...

Greg soon remembered the box that he carried, with the smell of pizza maintaining its strength. It had fortunately not cooled down too much, despite the breeze. Suddenly, an idea popped in his head. What was best to cheer someone up other than the wonderful pizza?

"Hey, Lars?"

Lars turned his head around, appearing to be hesitant and showing regret for having yelled at Greg before.

"Bismuth and I were going to share some pizza at the beach house," The brown-haired man pointed at Steven's... currently busted home, which still had a well-maintained living room. "Wanna join us?"

The pink teenager blinked in surprise, having not expected the invitation.

"Wha-? You really... mean it?" Lars asked. "You want me to join you?"

"Yeah, of course! We're going to share some food and just hang out. What do you say?"

Lars seemed thoughtful, his eyes glancing at his ship in concern.

"Gee, I don't want to bother you guys or anything..."

"No, no, it's fine!" Greg assured. "Come on, I think you might need it."

It took him some time to really process it, only then nodding in response; despite appearing to be a little lost.

"Uh, o... okay," He replied, standing up. "I think that would be nice."

"Great!"

"Just, uh," The teenager cleared his throat before the two of them could head to the beach house. "I don't know if I'll... really eat anything. Being a space pink... zombie kinda makes me not feel so hungry anymore."

"Oh, it's okay - you can just hang out with us so you won't feel so down."

"Yeah... Yeah, okay," Lars gave him a subtle, awkward smile, while rubbing his own arm.

Greg and Lars then made their way to the house, with the latter stopping at some point in order to take a look at his ship- or well, at all the ships at the beach, and giving them a sad look. The former's smile faltered a little, but he tried to lift his mood, anyway.

"Don't worry, just give them some time," Greg assured. "Now come on, it's going to be fun! Bismuth is a fun person to have around - even if she seems a little intimidating at first."

Lars couldn't help the shy smirk that formed on his face, once his eyes met Greg's again. "Heh, I can tell. She seems cool."

"Oh, she sure is! She can make weapons, too; and she's doing a great job at fixing the house!"

Thus, the two climbed up the stairs and reached the door. Greg knocked on it, with a grin on his face. Lars smiled back, despite his uneasiness. The man quietly assured him it would be fine.

In a matter of seconds, Bismuth answered the door with enthusiasm.

"Yo, Greg! You got the stuff?" She asked, with a smirk on her face.

"Yep! It's right here!"

"In this compartment? Fancy," Bismuth nodded in approval. Her eyes were quick to acknowledge Lars, and so she let out a surprised noise.

"Oh, captain Lars!" She greeted him with a grin. "Are you joining us in this fine pizza tradition?"

"Uhh, yeah, sure," Lars shrugged, nervous.

"Great! Now, come on in, you two! Just be careful, the house can only really store three people and these small animals," Bismuth pointed at the blue-eyed cat and... the walking pumpkin, that barked once it reached them; Lars' eyes widened at the sight, yet the captain didn't question it. "Oh, and the big cat up there, but it mostly stays outside, anyway."

Greg was quick to acknowledge Lion lying around what was Steven's bedroom. Lars glanced over at him, with a surprised look. Greg couldn't help smirking at the reaction; he had pretty much become used to weird stuff happening to him.

Finally, the trio entered the house, the smell of pizza filling the house, the two cats making noises and Pumpkin, barking excitedly as it smelled Lars, who didn't know what to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeahhh, I'm adding another chapter, I just don't know when I'll finish it ;-; And I truly hope the interactions here weren't too out of place, I just thought the Off Colors would still be conflicted about Rose and themselves... but yeah, idk if that was forced or anything gfdhjdjhdhgfj
> 
> Disclaimer: I totally welcome constructive criticism (just uhh don't be SO hard or rude on me since I'm still a very anxious person); but if there's something about the writing or anything that distracts you, feel free to comment that! I want to get better at writing, so it would be nice of you to let me know anything I need to improve.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've... kinda had a hard time writing this chapter, so I hope it turned out okay. Hopefully the pacing isn't that terrible sjgfhjdgf
> 
> I also decided to split it in two parts, so we still have another one to arrive! Fortunately, I might have more time to work on it this week, so I'll most likely get to finish this fic soon!

As soon as they entered, the smell of wood and paint was the first thing to hit his senses, followed by the realization of how damaging the Diamond attack must have been for half of the house to be under construction.

Despite having not been to Steven's house too often, if not for two times - the first, when Steven had taken him and Sadie to that magic island, and the second, when... the half gem had possessed Lars' body on accident; two occasions that the captain would sometimes struggle to forget and move on, especially the last one -, Lars could tell how different it was from before. It was worth noting that the house was rather big in dimensions, so, again, to have half of it destroyed must have been a disaster.

Steven's... room, which composed of his bed upstairs and the couch, he supposed, had almost remained intact, were it not for some cracks on the wooden floor. The other side, corresponding to the kitchen, was barely recognizable. There was a small, finished segment of it, that had more of a... gem tone, mixed with the original human environment. Rather than wood, it looked like some other material, a harder one, for that matter. Given that Greg and Bismuth were working together to repair the house, then the latter must be the one adding a more resistant structure while the former tried to make the house as welcoming to Steven as possible.

"So," Bismuth spoke, driving him out of his thoughts. "What do you think?"

"Oh, I, uh... I like what you're doing to the house. Like, how you're upgrading, but keeping the... human ambience and all."

"Thanks, Lars," Greg smiled. "We hope Steven and the others feel welcome once they get back."

Lars hummed, thus hearing Lion yawning from upstairs, as the pink feline occupied Steven's bed. The weird walking pumpkin barked at him in excitement again, much to his... discomfort? Surprise? He knew he should have gotten used to Steven's odd environment and life, especially due to the fact that Lars had had contact with the alien reality for months, but a living pumpkin? That behaved like a dog of some sort? It was like nothing he had ever imagined; even Lion, a giant pink cat, seemed normal at that point.

Even then, he should have learned that nothing in that town was normal, to begin with; not even... himself. And was that a bad thing? No, not necessarily. Yet it wouldn't stop being weird.

Regardless, the captain turned around to find Greg and Bismuth, who sat on the couch near him. The man placed the pizza box on the table, near... two gemstones wrapped up in a white cloth. One was blue, its shape resembling a teardrop, and the other, green, shaped like an inverted triangle. Having been exposed to the process of... "poofing" (as he remembered those... lawyers at the trial), but not witnessing it happening to his friends (thankfully), he raised an eyebrow in curiosity.

"Hey, uh, who are these guys?" Lars asked, pointing at the two gems.

"Oh - the green one is Peridot, the other is Lapis... Lazuli, right?" Greg replied, looking at Bismuth for confirmation.

"Yes, they were poofed by Yellow Diamond. Hopefully they'll reform in no time," The blacksmith assured. "They'll be alright."

The pink teenager looked at them again, especially as he recorded Steven mentioning Peridot, and how he would have liked to introduce them to one another. Lars had not imagined their first meeting would be like that... but, according to Bismuth, she and Lapis would return at some point. Lars believed to have heard of the blue gem, too, maybe before he was aware of Peridot, but he couldn't quite put his finger on that one occurrence.

"Now, get over here, Lars," Bismuth beckoned, as he would spend time thinking about many things. "We've gotta get this pizza tradition started, right?"

"Oh- Oh yeah," He let out a distracted laugh (and the way she described it as "pizza tradition" was just really good to hear). "Right."

He then joined the other two on the couch; Lars sat on the right corner and the rainbow-haired gem, on the other, with Greg between them. The adult man was the one to open the box, revealing a good-looking pepperoni pizza, that allured Bismuth's eyes.

"Oh, my stars, it looks beautiful!" She exclaimed, much to Lars' and Greg's enjoyment.

"Here you go," Greg handed her a slice.

While she admired it and tasted it, sounding very pleased, he grabbed another and offered it to Lars, who was... quite unsure whether he wanted to eat it or not. The pink teen didn't feel in the least hungry; he had not experienced that since Steven had revived him back on Homeworld, many, many months ago.

"It's okay if you don't feel like having it," Greg assured him, noticing his conflicted looking.

Before answering, Lars' eyes aimed at Bismuth, who ate the pizza with no trouble. He was aware that gems didn't need to eat nor sleep, but the blacksmith really was enjoying eating. Maybe he could give it a shot. Besides, he... truly hoped he could cherish something he had enjoyed so much. He had missed the Earth and its culinary very much, so it couldn't hurt, right?

"No, no- I, uh... I wanna try," Lars replied, in a more assertive tone.

"Oh, alright, then," Greg handed him the pizza slice.

The captain looked at the crust filled with cheese, tomato sauce and pepperoni for a few seconds. He frowned in determination and bit a piece. It... was quite delicious, with Lars even letting out a surprised noise. it felt so new, yet so familiar to him. However, as soon as the chewed remainings dived into his throat, it felt... strange. He didn't know how to put that in words, nor whether it was good or not.

"You okay there?" Mr. Universe asked him, with a slightly concerned look on his face.

"Y-Yeah, I am- I just... I'm not used to eating anymore, I guess."

Bismuth raised an eyebrow. "How so?"

"Like... I don't even feel hungry. I think it's- because of Steven's healing powers."

"Oh. Well, if that makes you feel better, I don't feel 'hungry', either. I sorta know what that means."

"But... don't you feel weird eating?"

"Nah, not really. I don't mind it."

Lars hummed, frowning.

"Really, Lars, it's okay," Greg tried to comfort him regardless. "You don't have to eat it if you're not comfortable."

After putting some thought to it, the pink boy gave it another shot: the same good sensation at the beginning, ending with the weird one of the food passing through his throat and making way down to his esophagus. Yet it wasn't as odd as the first time. Still... what was upsetting about it was that there wasn't that same pleasure, that desire. Not that his gut was full, it was merely... numb, at that point.

"I... I don't think I can get used to this," Lars concluded in defeat.

"Aw, it's alright, bud," Greg tried to give him a reassuring smile.

Before Lars could do anything about it, he heard the pumpkin bark at him again, only for him to almost jump in surprise. It had its eyes for the pizza slice in his hands... given that Lars wasn't hungry himself, he wondered if he could give it to the... animal-like vegetable?

"Uhhh, is pizza bad for the little buddy here?" He asked the other two.

"Hmm... she did eat a groom figure from that wedding cake..." Greg mumbled. Before Lars could even ask what the  _hell_  did that mean, he continued: "So, well, couldn't hurt to give her a little piece, I guess."

The teenager hummed in doubt, as the pumpkin had its orange tongue out. Lars ended up taking a small part of his slice and approached it, hesitant. The vegetable... smelled it and was quick to snatch it out of his hand, almost leading him to scream. Turned out that the pumpkin did enjoy the little piece of cheese and sauce.

"Oh, she liked it! Good," Greg smiled.

Lars' hand was shaking a little, perhaps from the surprise.

"Aw, Lars, it's okay, she doesn't hurt anyone," The man assured him, upon noticing that.

"S... Sorry."

Lars let out a deep sigh, leaving the remaining part of pizza on the floor for the pumpkin to eat. It barked in joy and began eating it frenetically. Lars would have snorted at the scene but was too disappointed for not being able to eat like he used to; and watching everyone, even Bismuth, eat without any trouble, would only make it worse.

"Don't worry about it, we can just sit here and chat for a bit," Greg told him.

"Yeah! Let's, uh, talk about your adventures in outer space! I want  _all_  the details," Bismuth grinned. "I'm pretty sure you and your friends went through a lot to get here, right?"

The sore reminder of his gem friends and their adventures together was enough to bring himself down even more. The small, random thought of the Off Colors being introduced to human food would have made him feel a little better but remembering the pained looks on their faces caused his chest to hurt, a lot more than it had been.

"Hey, captain?" Bismuth frowned in concern. "What's wrong?"

"Ah, h-his friends... sort of had a fight," Greg explained, sounding anxious regarding the teenager's misery.

"Oh? Why is that?"

Rather than using words, Lars looked over the wall by the front door; then realizing that the Rose Quartz portrait was still there. He hadn't given much thought to it, but then he wondered why nobody had taken it down yet, after everything that had been revealed about the leader of the Crystal Gems.

"... oh," Bismuth said, in realization. "Oh, cap... I'm- I'm really sorry."

"It's okay," Lars assured, even though he didn't feel much better. Yet he knew he couldn't hold a grudge against her, nor Greg, nor anyone but Rose herself.

Lars could feel his own eyes growing deep. He couldn't find himself enjoying his time there; he couldn't enjoy food the same way he did, his friends were upset and/or gone,  _and_  he was unable to help them... all because of everything an irresponsible brat had done so she could hide her own identity and hurt everyone around her.

He knew it had happened many thousands of years ago, but those thoughts were infuriating him a great deal.

"Yo, Lars," Bismuth called him. "You sure you're okay? You seem..."

"What do you  _think_?" Lars replied, a lot harsher than he had expected; though he could barely give much thought to his speech at that moment. "You really expect me to be okay with- with Steven in the same planet that wanted to kill him? With my friends feeling a lot  **worse**  about themselves, all- all this because of the  _crap_  Rose did?"

The rainbow-haired gem was surprised at his change in tone. Greg, on the other hand, wasn't; but he didn't appear to be comfortable with how bitter Lars sounded, either.

"Lars," Mr. Universe called him. "I understand how you feel, but- believe me, it's going to be okay-!"

"Stop- just  **stop**  telling me that! How do you KNOW things are going to be 'a-okay', huh?!"

The teenager even stood up in rage, glaring at the other two. Greg became cautious, but Bismuth was more defensive, and even put herself in front of the former.

"Woah there," She said. "Come on, don't do that-!"

"YOU stop doing that! Stop trying to lie to me AND yourselves that everything's gonna be fine! You keep insisting on that when everyone around is miserable and- and Steven might never even come back because Homeworld will have him SHATTERED by now!"

" _Hey_!" Bismuth raised her voice and stepped towards him in a menacing way. "You take that back!"

"Guys, stop!" Greg tried to intervene, by getting in the middle of them.

"You really think we're FINE with your friends hurt and the others gone off to space for who knows how long?" The blacksmith asked Lars, ignoring Greg. "Who do you think you are to say that?!"

"Yeah! I'm someone who actually cares about my friends, that's  **why**  I'm upset!"

"And WHAT do you expect us to do, huh?" Bismuth challenged. "Go all the way there to ruin the chances Steven has of actually doing something for all the oppressed and corrupted gems in the universe and start another freaking WAR?! Did you even get that into your stupid, pink brain?!"

"Guys!" Greg yelled louder than the two of them. "Quit it already! There's no need to fight!"

"Yeah, that's exactly my point!" Bismuth said. "We can't do anything because Steven has the capability of turning things around and helping us!"

"And how on EARTH are you so sure about things going right?!" Lars pressured.

"Because we  **BELIEVE**  in him! Why can't you do the same?!"

Those words shut him so quickly, that Lars was left speechless. That, and how he was hit within the realization of the pumpkin and the small, blue-eyed cat that hid behind it, watching the other... human in fear.

Bismuth panted, as Greg served as a barrier between their conflict. Lars found himself gazing at nowhere, taken aback by those last sentences, while the other human let out a deep, shaky breath.

"C-Come on, let's sit down," The adult lead Bismuth to the couch, the gem not protesting. Lars was left standing there on his own, as everyone drew apart from him. "Now, I know you don't need to breathe, but it does help someone calm down. Can you do that?"

In the meantime, the teenager had a dumb look on his face. Lars hadn't... meant to imply he didn't believe in Steven. For Christ’s sake, the kid had battled against corrupted gems, had been abducted by Homeworld twice - and had saved the  _world_ , too!

Yet... Lars had been to Homeworld, so he knew how cruel gems could be. Everyone on that planet had desired to kill Steven, and to have the same rebels who had helped Rose initiate the Rebellion there was indeed concerning. But he had never, ever meant that he didn't believe in Steven. Despite knowing how amazing the half gem was, Homeworld... might not go easy on him. No matter if he was a Diamond or not.

However, his eyes fell upon Bismuth and Greg calming each other down. The former, at first, was yelling that Lars didn't know anything. She sounded very upset while doing so, which caused Lars to watch the scene with sadness and regret.

The two had been dealing with a lot of hard work without the Crystal Gems there. They would shift from repairing Steven's house to protecting Beach City  _on their own_. Lars could then see in their eyes how much they struggled to keep themselves positive about everything.

It... really was the best they could do.

 

"There, there... listen, he's just frustrated," He heard Greg telling Bismuth in a lower voice, but somehow Lars managed to distinguish it. "I'm sure he didn't mean it."

It hurt Lars to catch Bismuth's eyes watering.

Lars himself had... to lead a group of aliens, aliens who had been excluded from Homeworld and who still had issues with themselves. He couldn't just... remain sad about his own issues, either. He had to maintain strong and to lead the way, while giving them all the support they needed.

He couldn't help... feeling a little hypocritical at that moment.

He wanted to say something, to apologize, but he didn't know if the two of them would scold them and tell him to leave. In fact... he might as well do so. Lars wasn't doing anything worthy to help the people he cared about.

But it wouldn't feel right to leave without saying something. Just so they knew he was regretful for making them feel bad.

"I'm... I'm really sorry," Lars approached, hesitant. Bismuth looked up, frowning at first, but proceeding to stare at the wooden floor. "I- God, I'm such a jerk."

"No, Lars, it's alright," Greg sighed. "I get that you are upset. We... We are, too. It's just... we  _really_  can't do anything about it, and- and it's not our fault, you know? This whole- Homeworld thing is way beyond our control."

Lars had his eyes on Bismuth, then, who refused to talk.

"Bismuth, I didn't..."

"Listen, captain," The blacksmith breathed heavily, sniffing. "Greg's right. We're not okay with them out there. In fact, we... we're  _really_  scared. We  **know**  that something bad could happen and all, but if we focus on the bad outcomes too much, it's not going to do any help to us.

"Even if we, well... had a ship and weapons before you arrived, it's like what he said: it's... beyond our control. These are diplomatic matters we can't intervene.

"As I said before, Steven is the only one capable of changing people's minds. He can convince the other Diamonds to free the Earth, to do something about the- the Cluster thing down the planet's crust, the corrupted gems... and the 'off colors' like your friends, too."

Lars looked away for a moment, having... not thought about it. There weren't only his friends, but millions of Off Colors in outer space were hiding, fleeing from robonoids to survive.

"And I  _know_  he can do it," Bismuth continued. "He- He changed my mind, too. Before even getting here, I... I actually wanted to shatter the Diamonds so we could be free. But that would've been a disaster, and I only realized that when Steven showed me that a dialogue is possible. Blue and Yellow Diamond, after knowing that Pink hadn't been shattered, were willing to do everything he said. Heck,  _he_  was the one to convince them to take everyone to Homeworld so they could solve all their issues."

The rainbow-haired gem dried her eyes, as a few tears had rolled down her face. Greg and Lars listened in silence. The captain reflected on her arguments, finding the sense and belief in them.

"Yeah, it's true that Steven shouldn't be dealing with what Rose did, that it's dangerous and all... but that kid has impressed me with his kindness," A tragic grin could be found in Bismuth's sadness. "He has proved us a lot that we could never expect. So, I... I believe in him."

Her eyes met Lars', and the gaze was locked for a long time. She allowed a more silent, comforting contact between them, showing comprehension towards his own feelings, while trying to convince him not to let himself go of the hopeful outcomes.

"About your friends, I truly am sorry," Bismuth said. "But we should let them think about it, before anything. The others - that is, Steven, Pearl, Garnet and Amethyst - were in the same state before, but they learned to stay together after giving some time to themselves. I'm sure you guys can come up with something too, because you appear to be a pretty great team, huh? For you to escape a highly advanced, oppressive planet together...

"You guys are much stronger than you realize. You just... need to allow them to believe that."

Lars was thoughtful, as Bismuth's beliefs were... were valid. Despite her fear, hope was clear in her words and actions, and not as a way to blind herself. She truly... believed in Steven. She didn't let the bad thoughts affect her trust in the younger boy, unlike... how Lars was behaving lately.

"Wow, you're... you're right," The captain admitted, rather speechless. "I guess I... didn't give much faith on Steven. Or... anything, for that matter."

He sighed afterwards, for some reason gazing at the house pets again. The pumpkin and cat were watching everything with observant, curious eyes.

"I've... never been an optimistic person. Just this-  _emo_  garbage," He murmured, frowning.

"It's not your fault," Greg said. "I know the gem stuff is a whole new thing to you. You're not supposed to know everything. And that's alright, because you can learn better."

Lars' face softened as he processed the words for a while. He preferred not to say anything but didn't feel he should... go too hard on himself when it came that topic.

"Sorry for yelling at you before," Bismuth sighed.

"No,  _I_  should be apologizing. I get it," Lars managed to smile at her.

She hummed, a small smile appearing, too.

"Again, this whole thing is pretty revolting," Bismuth emphasized. "Yet the best we can do right now is to remain strong for the gems - and for ourselves, too! We can't just suffer from sorrow forever."

"We'll do what we can for Earth. And we'll get through this," Greg said. "Together."

"Yeah... together."

The trio gazed at themselves for what it felt like forever, sharing a similar feeling of solidarity and understanding, as well as admiration coming from Lars. He appreciated how the other two managed to keep it up, given their positions on the Crystal Gems' lives.

He was sure Steven would be proud of them both.

...

Lars' smile faded as he was met with the window, finding the starry sky. That, and Rose's portrait, whose... pinkness he could spot while gazing at the darkness outside.

"Even then," Lars sighed. "I just... hope they're okay up there. Because I know it's not going to be easy."

"We do, too," Greg nodded. "But let's not do anything irrational, or else it could get worse."

"Yeah, but..."

The captain's voice faded, as his pessimistic thoughts were coming back to him. Lars just couldn't get a grip, huh... he began to clench and unclench his fists, unable to avoid that rush.

"Look, I..." Lars began speaking, without realizing, but did not interrupt himself. "I hate to be- gloomy and everything, like- you're right, Steven can turn things around and stuff, but let's think about it: what if something DOES happen? Even if the Diamonds are on their side, we're not sure about the entirety of Homeworld being okay with his mother lying to everyone. Pink, Rose, whoever she was, still betrayed Homeworld. If gems were capable of starting a rebellion against Homeworld, then... they can start another movement against Steven, right?

"This might be extreme to think about, I don't know; but I- I want to at least... be ready for whatever that comes. If everything does turn out to be hopeless for them, then I want to be there to fight! Don't you think we should do that for precaution?"

For a rapid moment, he caught Bismuth glancing at Greg with a worried look. Lars was about to continue defending his argument, despite wanting to remain positive. The blacksmith, however, nodded without questioning him.

"You know... you do have a point," Bismuth said, finally showing some determination. "Especially since..."

Her small smile was quick to disappear. Her eyes focused on the damaged side of the house. Lars could spot the fear in them, the dark color deeper than before. Although he was aware they were both afraid, there was something more to that, something he hadn't... quite noticed before.

"Since... what?" Lars went straight to that, wanting to know what could be bothering her.

Bismuth shook her head at first, refusing to look at him.

"Bismuth, if something's worrying you this much, we-" Lars told her, gulping once she glanced at him. "We should know."

The blacksmith sighed once more.

"You see, I... b-before Steven and the others went to Homeworld, they talked to the Diamonds about the corrupted gems, and... honestly, the... the main reason why they went there at all was because they couldn't heal those guys on their own; not without... without White Diamond."

Lars didn't exactly know what that meant at first; but the sound of her voice as it spoke "White Diamond" sent shivers down his spine. He recorded asking about the Great Diamond Authority to the Off Colors. His friends feared all of the matriarchs, but the mere mention of White had caused everyone to almost panic and cry, and instead opting not to ever speak of her again. Not to mention that none of the gems he had battled against had been aligned to White, thus never giving an idea of how she truly was.

Bismuth herself was shaking as she revealed him such information.

"Listen, I do believe in Steven, but even  _Blue and Yellow_  fear her," She said. "They might not face her quite peacefully."

Lars gulped. Blue and Yellow Diamond already frightened him a great deal, but White? She was an entirely different level. If those two feared her, then...

Bismuth... actually began looking hopeless, as she gave more thought to the situation. Lars admitted to feeling somewhat guilty for making her desperate, but, at the same time, they couldn't push that aside.

"Oh, now that I think about it... stars," Bismuth muttered to herself. "We couldn't even beat two Diamonds. If White is this bad, then I don't know how on earth we're gonna-!"

As the captain gazed at the window again, he could spot the Diamond ships, as both were reflected by the moonlight. The Sun Incinerator could also be seen by the beach. It took him a while, but Lars began to consider something: having been somewhat familiar to the gem technology, they could get something out of those ships, given that most of their structures were... somewhat intact. It could be worse, as he remembered that other hand ship, the green one, that had fallen right into the hill and the pieces spreading out everywhere.

He then looked at Bismuth, who was still mumbling in uneasiness. Greg approached her so he could offer some support. Lars remembered that she could build weapons; as well as... towers and other things, right? Not to mention Lars' own ship had its weapons and speed. Just him and the Off Colors had taken down several Homeworld soldiers.

So, they could... upgrade their weaponry. The Off Colors had knowledge of the advancements Homeworld had gone through. Bismuth knew how to build things, and must have experience in battle, too!

"Hey, Bismuth," Lars called her. "We... might have hope."

"What?" She raised her head to look at him, a bit incredulous.

"We- might have more resources in to use in battle this time. We can get something out of those Diamond ships, as well as my own ship. And you can make weapons - the Off Colors and I could help you with our knowledge of the new gem technology, since I assume you guys don't really... have much advanced equipment or anything, right?"

Bismuth's eyes widened a little, yet she still nodded at his question. Lars was somewhat aware of their unfamiliarity, as he remembered his friends being at loss with many of the changes Homeworld had gone through. Assuming the Crystal Gems had remained on Earth without contacting their home planet in thousands of years, then it might have been case, too.

"Maybe we can't fight off a Diamond, but I think we have more advantage," Lars smiled. "My friends and I have never got caught in outer space, so I think we can rescue the others without much trouble.

"Besides, I don't want to just remain here and not do anything. I think we should... still try. Because...

"... that's what Steven would do, right?"

Greg and Bismuth appeared to be surprised at his strategies, while listening to them with attention. Lars hoped it made sense, since he knew how dangerous it was. They might not have a chance against Homeworld.

But that was what Lars had believed before he had escaped. He had thought he would be stuck in that horrible place for eternity, when, after giving some thought and working together with the Off Colors, they had found a way out. They had overcome their fears and still managed to get out of those dark tunnels. They had stolen the fastest ship of an elite gem, had stolen the flotanium for their engines, had battled against Homeworld in outer space countless times.

Maybe... Maybe there was hope.

Maybe they could rescue the Crystal Gems, save the oppressed and free the Earth for once and for all.

Whatever would come, they could handle it. Even if it seemed impossible, they... they would still try. At least, Lars would. He hoped the Off Colors could join that cause, too, after everything that they had found out. He ought to talk to them at a later time.

He awaited Greg's and Bismuth's replies, which took long to be revealed. Lars was not impatient, however, understanding their insecurities. He wasn't... 100% confident himself, but he managed to hold on to the tiny hope that began growing in his heart; something he had rarely done in his entire life.

"Yeah...  _yeah_!" A grin stretched around the blacksmith's face. "You're right, captain - we should work together and get ready for whatever that comes."

"I agree!" Greg approved.

Lars smiled at them, grateful for their willingness to help. He was sure they all had potential to do great things and make accomplishments. They would do whatever was required from them in the meantime.

After a long pause, Bismuth approached the pink teenager with a determined grin on her face. She... offered her hand, waiting for him to shake it.

"I like you, captain Lars," She told him. "I'm sorry for underestimating you. You truly are dignified."

The tired, genuine smile of his did not fade, and might have even stretched longer across his face. He nodded in gratefulness and said, "You're one cool fighter, too."

"No way, I'm from the lava!"

The two laughed (even though Bismuth might have only done it since Lars was the one to begin it). Greg let out a relieved sigh, smiling at them in silence. The newly formed trio was then giving each other support and sharing genuine laughs.

After things were finally settled, Lars remembered the pizza, that had been abandoned in the center table. It must have gotten cold at that point, given the temperatures were not too high that night; even if it didn't particularly bother him too much, thanks to his altered, pink body.

"Oh, guys, you should finish that," He told them, pointing at the food.

"Ah, man, I almost forgot," Greg laughed.

"Well, doesn't seem too cold to me," Bismuth observed, as she took another slice. "It's good."

They all sat on their last spots, with Greg getting another piece for himself. Lars accepted watching them eat, then, even though that same disappointment was somewhere inside his chest. He managed to ignore it for the time, though.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you go! This chapter might have a slow start, but I guarantee this is the last one! I hope it's not too messy since I finished this at 2 AM x'D I also hope the pacing is fine.
> 
> (note: I did change a thing in the last chapter since someone pointed it out - I had written that Lars hasn't seen a gem poofing, but then I remembered he did see the two Zircons poofing at the Trial. Sorry about forgetting that detail! Not that it's not a huge plot point ~~yet~~ , but anyway)

Food was a peculiar, yet such valuable creation of the Earth's nature. Bismuth admired the way the many ingredients and toppings of the pizza meal - the yellow layer, the red discs, the other red liquid -, together, composed a wonderful invention.

As Greg had told her about more variations of food, she could not wait to try them out. If they were as delicious as pizza, then she would be glad to eat them as well!

It was a shame, though, that Lars couldn't find himself comfortable eating. Although she didn't feel hunger like humans did, she assumed he must miss that sensation, given he had been a normal human being before. She wondered what could have happened for him to undergo such radical transformation of his body. Greg had told her the captain had been injured, but had it been this grave?

Bismuth was aware of Rose's healing powers, having witnessed her using on other gems, yet not leading to drastic changes. She didn't know whether it was because Lars was organic, but even then...

Regardless, Bismuth didn't mean to disrespect his privacy, since he had looked uneasy when she had questioned. She wouldn't insist if it was a personal, bothersome topic.

The gem watched Lars and Greg discussing something she hadn't been paying much attention to, but she assumed it was related to their town - possibly news, as Lars had been away for so long. Bismuth was delighted by the pizza slice she took bites from, while trying to keep it away from the small cat that was allured by it. Greg had warned her not to feed the feline with human food, so she gave it a scolding look, while maintaining a soft, patient tone to her voice.

"No, no, lil' buddy," Bismuth told it, its paws trying to reach the pizza in her right hand. "You're not allowed to consume it!"

The cat was insistent, not giving up for a long time. The blacksmith tried to gently push it away, only for the animal to attempt to climb her to reach its goal. It was then that Bismuth ate the entire piece at once, thus disappointing the cat. She shrugged in response, leading the feline to make its way to the floor again. Luckily, the rest of the pizza had been consumed, so the cat wouldn't try to get on the table and steal anything from the box.

After this, Bismuth had her attention back at the two humans, who shared a small, but genuine laugh. She smiled at them fondly, happy to have their company. Greg was an easygoing man, willing to teach her the many wonders of the Earth whenever they were free from the hard work they had to get done. Lars, while prone to becoming emotionally unstable, was a strong-willed, stubborn and caring captain. Although he did show to be more... pessimistic out of the trio, she admired his reasonings and plans for a possible conflict. No wonder he  _was_  the captain, after all.

Not meaning to depreciate him, but Bismuth was impressed that a human, that appeared to be in an early stage of life ("young", as Greg would define), was able to escape another planet, that had become incredibly advanced, with some of the most dangerous weaponry and oppressive systems in the universe. She could tell how much of a fast learner Lars was and could only imagine his performance at a real battle. She was willing to learn more from him, while maybe teaching him and the Off Colors some techniques of her own in more physical battles, as she assumed the space pirates had mostly faced indirect conflicts.

Her thoughts were then interrupted by the noise of the blue-eyed cat, which had walked all the way to Lars and climbed the couch. The pink human smiled at it and caressed its head; only for the small pet to lie on his lap, causing his cheeks to turn a darker shade of pink. His smile grew bigger and he allowed the contact. The cat seemed to enjoy it very much.

Soon after, the pumpkin arrived and demanded attention as well, which surprised Lars, but not scaring him like the last time. Instead, the captain laughed and rubbed its belly. He was... very affectionate - when he allowed himself to be.

"You like pets, Lars?" Greg asked, also taking notice of the two small beings wanting his attention.

"Oh? Oh, uh, yeah. I actually used to own a cat, but it died a couple of years ago... I didn't really consider getting another one after that."

The look on his face revealed hidden sorrow. Bismuth glanced at him with condolence, remembering that those adorable animals (she wasn't sure about pumpkin, though) would grow old and eventually...

Well, she would look after them for as long as she needed, no matter what happened.

Suddenly, the trio - and Pumpkin and the cat - heard Lion come down the stairs. It looked straight at Lars, who had a puzzled look on his face. Then, it shifted into one of perception, followed by apprehension. Bismuth blinked at the realization of the two sharing the same color schemes: bright pink hair (or mane), pink skin... if that was the case, then what Lars had gone through must be similar to what had happened to Lion.

In any case, the pink feline proceeded to smell Lars, who was not sure what to do about it... when Lion lied by his feet, its head touching them.

"Aww," Bismuth reacted, finding the sight of Lars and the pets quite entertaining and lovable. "They sure like you, cap."

The space pirate laughed. "Probably because I'm a giant cotton candy."

The gem laughed along, only for it to die out and lead her to ask Greg, "... what is cotton candy?"

"It's uh... like it says in the name, it's some sort of candy - which is food, too, but it's sweet instead," He explained. "It's made of sugar and looks like a cloud. It can also be found in many colors."

"Like a cloud?" Bismuth repeated, surprised. She thought about the cloud forms, that were all unique and beautiful; so, having food resemble them was... incredible. "How is that possible?"

"Well, I don't really know how to explain it. It's like, you put the sugar thing that you prepared on some sort of spinning machine, and... that's it, I guess. There must be more to how it's done, but..."

"Wow. The machines I knew never served for anything other than to conquer other planets. How interesting!"

"Yeah, and there are a lot more of machines that can be used to make food, too! Like popcorn, waffles, even ice cream..."

"You guys sure love making stuff, huh," She commented. "And some real good stuff, too! I really admire how you put so much hard work to that process, how you use the right ingredients for each kind of food and use specific machines... it's amazing! Steven taught me how to manufacture pizza once, and I loved it!"

Lars was the one to comment on that, his voice showing interest and... surprise?

"Oh... yeah?" He asked.

"Yeah! Not only do I want to try more food types, but also the development behind the production! It's such a thoughtful method and you get pretty impressive results - just like making weapons!"

During her excited words, she came to realize that Lars appeared to be awestruck. She raised an eyebrow, leading him to look away almost immediately. His left hand rubbed the back of his neck while the right one massaged the cat's multicolored fur.

"Hey, what's up, cap?" Bismuth questioned.

"Nothing! Nothing, really, it's just, uh-" Lars cleared his throat. "It's nice to hear how captivated you are by gastronomy - that is, food and all."

"Oh. Glad to hear that." She smiled.

"Ah, the thing is..." The captain faced her again. "I, uh... have some knowledge on that stuff, and-"

Bismuth gasped. "You know how to make food?!" She let out, much louder than she had intended it to be; causing Lars and Greg to jump in surprise. Fortunately, the cat didn't run away in fear from the former's lap.

"I-I do! Yeah, I do," Lars laughed nervously. "And, uh, that's called cooking, by the way."

"Cooking...?"

"Really? That's great, Lars!" Greg exclaimed. "I didn't know you could cook!"

“Heh, yeah...” Lars’ cheeks turned dark again.

“I’m sure you must be great at it, then!” She grinned, as she had learnt to admire him. If he really was as competent as she believed him to be, then she could imagine how talented he was!

“I... g-guess you could say that?” He looked away.

Bismuth’s eyes widened in realization. “Wait – did you work at a restaurant before?”

Lars shut his mouth as he became thoughtful but dismissed it with an anxious smile.

“No, no. Well, I did use to work at this place called Big Donut – I don’t know if you’ve seen it, it’s pretty close to the house. It’s where they sell these, uh, donuts, which are food, too; but we didn’t make them there, y’know? Especially because of some spooky accident that had happened long before I worked there... yeah.”

“Hmm,” Bismuth nodded. “But have people tried  _your_  food before?”

“Oh, uh… n-no. Only like, Steven and… another friend of mine.”

For a moment, Bismuth could spot his enthusiasm decreasing. She wondered if the experience the captain described had not ended too well for that to happen.

“And... did they enjoy it?” She wondered, “Or not?”

“Ah, they... t-they did. But I never really went forward with cooking for others, because...”

She realized Lars began to shrink, and the confidence and joy in his voice was quickly being replaced into quiet uneasiness. The cat on his lap even gazed at him with its blue eye, somehow in concern.

Yet, rather than revealing it, the captain shook his head.

“Nevermind,” He said. “It doesn’t really matter.”

“You sure?” Bismuth questioned.

“Yeah,” Lars tried to assure her with a smile, but it wasn’t genuine. It seemed... weak.

“Well, alright...”

Again, Bismuth wouldn’t insist on it; especially as she and Lars had just met, so she wouldn’t require such level of intimacy. Though it appeared that the pink human would struggle with some issues that certainly bothered him, and she did hope he didn’t hide them often to the point of becoming so unstable, like how it had happened earlier.

Lars gulped as he caught her analyzing him and proceeded to caress the cat while staring at the floor. The pumpkin had been trying to draw his attention joyfully, but its energy began to be lost. The vegetable must have taken notice of how quiet the captain became in a short amount of time; that sign was not ignored by Lars, however.

“Oh, jeez, I’m sorry,” He said, letting out a forced laugh. “I keep ruining the mood, huh?”

Greg and Bismuth glanced at one another with concerned looks.

“It’s okay, buddy,” The adult said. “You shouldn’t feel bad for feeling down.”

“No, it’s… forget about it. It’s nothing much.”

“Sorry, cap, but… it doesn’t seem like it,” Bismuth noted.

“I’m telling you, it’s fine. Besides, I don’t feel like you guys deserve to keep bearing with an emotive teenager after doing a lot of hard work, right?”

“Look, you don’t have to tell us, but… don’t feel like you’re a burden, Lars,” Greg told him. “You can open up to us anytime you want, alright?”

Lars seemed to be considerate of the offer but, stubborn as he was, he still denied.

“I appreciate it but… I really don’t want to talk about it.”

Greg nodded in understanding, Bismuth imitating the gesture.

“Alright,” The long-haired man said, finally.

Lars didn’t say anything else. The pets were still close to him yet appeared to have snuggled closer against him after his joy faded. Bismuth liked how the pets were loyal and comforting, without even forming a dialogue that humans could understand.

Bismuth’s eyes laid on the pizza box once more. She ended up saying something after minutes of silence.

“Wow, this was a really good pizza,” She stated. “We should repeat this tradition more often!”

“Oh, agreed,” Greg added. “We could get your friends to eat next time, right, Lars?”

The captain simply hummed in response. Bismuth frowned again, but remained silent, with Greg following the same response to Lars’ behavior.

The silence that came afterwards was interrupted by Greg’s yawn. Only then did Bismuth remember how tired he was, with good reason, though. He and the gem had been the only ones to deal with the hard work left by the Crystal Gems, to look after the town and the planet itself.

“Yo, Greg, you should really get some rest,” Bismuth observed. “You’ve been working too much for a human body to handle.”

“Well, I’m not arguing with that…”

“I should probably head to my forge real quick, too, since I’ve been trying to make a new weapon to replace Rose’s sword. At least that giant pink cat is a good caretaker,” Bismuth snickered at Lion, which didn’t leave the sacred spot beneath Lars’ feet. “So it can watch Lapis and Peridot for a while.”

“Wait, are you guys going to leave already?” Lars asked as soon as Bismuth stood up, at a speed she hadn’t expected.

“Well, it is getting darker outside and Greg’s exhausted,” She replied, confused. “Why? Something to matter?”

The captain glanced at the door with an anxious look, then proceeding to face the wooden floor.

“I don’t…” His voice was so quiet, it was almost a whisper. “… really have a place to go.”

“What? Oh.”

Bismuth didn’t take long to remember that he and the Off Colors had had a serious argument. She didn’t know if it had been that long since then but given the gravity of the situation they were all in, she acknowledged that Lars wanted to give them privacy. Yet…

“Hmm, my van is kind of a huge mess, so I wouldn’t really… invite you there,” Greg laughed, awkward. “But you wouldn’t be alone here, either! Steven’s bed is big enough, you have Lion, Pumpkin- “

“Hold on,” Bismuth interrupted. “If I remember correctly, you- you do have a family, right, Lars? Why won’t you meet up with them instead-?”

She shut her mouth as soon as she observed Lars’ gradual reaction. The following silence was somehow worse than the previous. The captain turned his head to another direction, avoiding her look.

“What is it?” Bismuth asked, not understanding the hesitation and thus concluding something else. “Is your family not welcoming?”

“No! Or… I…” Lars didn’t look certain and revealed a crippling fear. “It’s just… t-they don’t know I’m pink. I-I don’t know how they’re going to react and- I don’t feel so good to go home just yet.”

She would have questioned more, but once she gazed at Greg, she realized that the brown-haired human had an empathetic look on his face rather than a confused one.

“He has a lot in his mind,” Greg cleared Lars’ words to her. “Maybe it’s best if he takes some time to think through everything, y’know? Especially with his friends fighting…”

Bismuth looked at Lars with sadness, unable to imagine all the feelings he must have at that moment, having been under pressure. She may not be in his situation to believe that not going home would be helpful – as she believed in the opposite -, but she wasn’t going to judge. And, if Greg said so, then she wouldn’t doubt it.

Lars was hesitant to look at either of them. The blue-eyed cat made a curious noise. Lion opened its eyes to take a better look at him and the pumpkin was silent – which was rare, according to Bismuth’s short-lived stay at the beach house.

“Well, alright, then. You can stay over if you need to,” She told the pink human. “You’ve really been through a lot and you deserve rest, too.”

“It’s not going to be a problem to you?” Lars wondered.

“No way! You’re always welcome here,” Greg assured him.

Lars looked at the floor again and nodded but didn’t appear to be much better. Just… slightly relieved. Other than that, there was no visible joy there, from what she could analyze.

“Thanks,” He said, his voice tone still low.

“It’s no problem,” Bismuth couldn’t bring herself to smile, even if she tried.

“I’ll get the bed ready. Lion has taken over it in the past days, so it’s definitely a mess,” Greg tried to joke, but received no laughs nor anything else from either of them. He rushed upstairs afterwards.

Bismuth and Lars were the only ones left at the couch, apart from the pets. Lion stood up and sat, not bearing a pleased look; as if it had heard it wouldn’t be sleeping on the bed that night. Lars sighed and stood up as well, placing the cat on where he had sat. The small feline and Pumpkin gazed at him with worry, like Bismuth did at that moment.

“Alright, it’s ready! It’s all yours for the night,” Greg said not too long later, with a grin on his face.

“Thanks, Mister Universe,” Lars replied.

“Yeah, no problem. Oh!” Greg looked at the table near them and went over there to grab the empty pizza box. “I gotta take this to the trash outside. I guess I’ll head to my van after that, so, uh, good night, you two!”

“Good night, Greg! Thanks for the pizza night!” Bismuth smiled.

“Again, you can go to my van if you need anything; it’s right next to the Big Donut.”

Lars only waved in response, with Greg heading outside with the box in his hands. The house was silent again, the pet noises no longer heard.

“So, you’re… gonna go to your… forge?” The captain asked her.

“Yes, but it’ll be quick.”

“Hm, I could… watch over these two while you’re gone,” Lars pointed at Lapis and Peridot on the table. “I think Lion wants to take a nap.”

Soon after he said that, Lion occupied the couch, the small cat jumping to the floor.

“Oh, that would be great, thanks,” Bismuth said.

“Yeah, it’s no big deal.”

His eyes focused on another, distant direction. He crossed his arms, as if he tried to contain his uneasiness. Bismuth put her hands on the edges of her waist and let out a deep sigh.

“Look, cap, I know I’ve said this before, but… I’m sorry,” She told him, drawing his attention back. “About Rose, about your friends and… whatever happened to you.”

“You don’t have to be sorry. None of that is your fault.”

“I know, but, as we said, what’s going on isn’t something easy to come to terms with – and sometimes I forget that myself. I then remember that Rose was Pink Diamond and how much harm she caused because of her lies… I hate seeing that affecting you and your friends, too.”

Lars sighed as well. “Yeah… I know we’ll do what we can here on Earth while Steven handles the whole thing, but… I admit that I kinda wish I could be there to help him with anything.”

Bismuth hummed. “Besides, you’ve got a lot to deal with, too. I’m sure whatever caused you to become pink must’ve been bad. Especially if you’re afraid to see your family.”

He appeared to be more nervous at those last words.

“I’m really not going to bother you by staying here, right?” Lars asked. “I’m feeling bad for making you guys put up with me like this…”

“Don’t feel like that! You’re Steven’s friend and you’re a good person. I don’t mind some company, either. I can’t even talk to these fellas here, even though I try,” She snorts, looking at Lion.

Despite her reassurances, he still didn’t appear to be secure.

“It’s just…” He began. “I-I’m feeling dumb staying here in the first place when my home isn’t even that far. But I really… can’t bring myself to go there, either. It’s complicated.”

“You’re afraid of what others will think of your appearance?” Bismuth wondered. “But why is that? I saw you… talking to that group of young humans when you arrived. I think I remember them waving and smiling at you before we headed to the porch to talk about Rose. If they already knew you, then I don’t think they minded you looking like that.”

“I-It’s different, though. Besides, the Cool Kids don’t even know what happened to me. I don’t think I can explain to them.”

“But maybe they’ll understand? I know it can be hard explaining that your body changed, but… if they’re understanding, then I’m sure they’ll do what’s possible to support you, right?”

For a moment, Lars looked thoughtful of what she told him. Yet, it seemed as though the fear he had was prominent.

“I- I don’t know,” He gulped. “I r-really don’t know. I’m- I’m scared of how they’ll react upon seeing me like this. Or seeing me _at all_.”

“What do you mean?”

Bismuth knew she was being too curious and mentally told herself to respect his boundaries; but curiosity got the best of her. However, Lars appeared to be a lot more in conflict than before. He was frowning, but he didn’t seem to be angered at her.

“It’s… no, I- ugh,” He groaned, turning his back to her. “Maybe I should just leave. You don’t wanna listen to all my problems.”

Lars actually began to walk away, but Bismuth stepped forward.

“Hey, c’mon!” She protested. “I don’t mind, seriously! But you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. Besides, Greg even prepared you the bed.”

Lars only stood there in silence. She wanted to guide him to the bed upstairs but tried not to force him.

“I mean it, it’s okay,” She reassured. “You don’t have to push others away like this, y’know? It’s not a healthy thing to do.”

It somehow made him stiffer. She hoped she hadn’t upset him more. Before she could apologize again, she heard him… laugh. Laugh miserably. Once it died out, he grew silent for an uncomfortable amount of time.

“… I guess I really didn’t change, huh,” He murmured, but she was able to hear it.

She was about to ask him, but he continued speaking; yet he didn’t appear to be talking to her.

“Even after I freaking died and got myself into this whole crap to get back home, I’m- I’m a huge _coward_.”

The first words replayed in her mind.

“Hold on – what do you mean you _died_?”

Lars almost jumped at her words. Maybe he had said it without even realizing, given how his eyes barely met hers.

“Shoot,” He cursed under his breath.

“Lars,” She called him, even noting a shiver coming out of him. “Is… that why you became pink?”

Death was such a natural thing to humans, inevitable as it was. But sometimes it occurred in other ways, unfairly. Bismuth had seen humans die at the Gem War, murdered by the monstrous Homeworld weapons thousands of years before. Some had not even fought, being mere civilians that had had nothing to do with it. She recorded the Crystal Gems’ distress and grief towards the many destroyed villages throughout the conflict. Humans had been nothing to Homeworld but meaningless obstacles; and, sadly, that had never changed.

Lars had been abducted to Homeworld, if memory served her correct. He ended up being another victim of them. Another victim of a conflict he needn’t have been involved in.

The captain’s hand aimed for the scar in his right eye. His body was shaking.

“Wow, I’m… I’m really sorry,” Bismuth said, seeing as though Lars wouldn’t say anything. His look, however, implied the answer itself.

“Crazy, right?” Lars snickered, his look tragic. “Weren’t it for Steven, I wouldn’t even be here. Sometimes I think about it, and…”

He leaned his back on the wall beside him, turning his back to the door. He stared at the poofed gems on the table. His body was trembling so much, something inside Bismuth ached, somehow. She even gave a fast glance at Lion, realizing it must have… died before, for him to look pink; as it was also organic.

“But even after getting another chance, I’m here… scared of what are others going to think upon seeing me, after… after I’ve made so many mistakes.”

The captain didn’t appear to mind her approaching him more, as he was immersed in his internal conflicts.

“I… I was terrible to everyone I knew,” He continued. “when they were always there for me. My parents, Steven… Sadie… they were always trying to get me to reveal myself, but I… never could. And I guess I still am.

“That’s sorta the reason why nobody’s ever tried my food, for that matter,” He glanced at her, reminding of the discussion about cooking they had had. “I… did try to cook something for a party thing but… I ran away before I could even show up.”

“Oh, cap…” Bismuth commented.

“Then I was abducted. Kidnapped. There were other humans with me, too, but I didn’t do anything to help once Steven began fighting against the Homeworld gems. I just ran and hid again,” He said. “But Steven… gave himself up and I ended up captured while the others escaped. On Homeworld, after he was sent to Trial, we escaped and met the Off Colors; but we were chased by some… weird robonoids, that shatter gems once they’re detected. I wanted to turn things around, I stood up for my friends. And I _died_ doing that.”

Lars held his own hands, leaning towards the table. Bismuth was frowning once she heard that Steven had been on Trial. She didn’t remember if the half-gem had told her that before. It must have been scary. Regardless, she listened to him in silence, finding it hard to process. She ended up finding the multicolored cat, that approached them.

“Steven gave me another chance, by bringing me back to life,” Lars revealed. “And I grabbed it and fought alongside the Off Colors to get back home.

“I… I thought I was so ready to go back, to restart everything. But as we approached the Earth, I couldn’t find that confidence I gained in our battles. On the other hand, I… I didn’t want to let the gems know because they were so glad to find a place to live, where they couldn’t be killed for how they were made. So, I… suppressed those feelings to favor their happiness.

“Now I’m here. I’m right here, just meters away from my parents, from my home, and I don’t want to go there. I… _can’t_.”

By the tone of his voice, it sounded he was about to cry.

“I can’t see them because… b-because I made so many bad things and I can’t go home and pretend everything’s fine. It’s not. I died, I’m not a human anymore, I just- looked down on everyone I loved. How am I going to accept all that? How can I go home after- after everything I did to them?”

The blacksmith wanted to say something, wanted to prove him otherwise, but… but she was left speechless.

“I don’t know what to do,” Lars sobbed, helpless.

It was then that he broke down in tears. Bismuth was still unable to speak while she was succumbed to his sobs and how he hugged himself way too tight. How he put himself down so much.

Regret and worthlessness were explicit in his speech. Lars didn’t want to see his family nor friends because of the things he had done. Even after everything he had gone through, he couldn’t deal with that. He didn’t feel he deserved this second chance. That he should be back home.

…

For some reason, Bismuth found herself looking away. Her face twitched, and her eyes were burning. She didn’t know why she was having those symptoms all of a sudden, but it didn’t take long for her to understand.

Lars’ words and situation felt…  _familiar_.

Many things about him were familiar to her. His stubbornness, his strong remorse, that affected his self-image, despite showing many incredible skills and knowledge of battles… and how his mental state got the best of him.

It was so similar, it… hurt.

_Why would you let me out? I just tried to shatter you._

_You seriously think they're gonna want me around when the last thing I did was try to shatter you?_

_I've got enough self-respect in this gem to accept that they don't want me on their team anymore._

_I blew it!_

 

When she had been unbubbled the second time, while Steven had gone outside to prepare the “surprise” he had planned to the gems, she had stared at the floor in shame. She had looked at her own hands, at herself.

 _They don’t want me around,_  She had thought.  _Not after what I did…_

But Steven had proven her wrong. Her friends had longed to see her. Even after she had tried to kill him. They had accepted her back to the Crystal Gems and there she was, exploring the Earth, protecting it and… making friends.

It didn’t mean those thoughts weren’t meaningless, though. Just remembering them were enough to affect her. Just hearing Lars sob and mutter to himself that he wasn’t worth it caused her guilt to return, even after she had learnt to forgive herself. It was frightening regardless.

Yet she couldn’t bear to let Lars believe those consuming beliefs. He was too focused on his fears that he couldn’t see the opportunities ahead of him.

Steven may have given him a chance, but… what about  _Lars_? Had he given it to himself?

 

Bismuth, while taking a few seconds to do so, placed a hand on his back – making him let out a surprised noise. He looked up, his eyes wet and… something coming out of his nose.

He attempted to dry his wet face, but it didn’t prevent more tears from forming.

“I-I’m-“ He sounded ashamed, for having cried so much, from what she could tell by his look.

She let out a deep breath.

“Lars,” Bismuth began. “I… I can’t blame you for feeling that way. I get how you feel,” She caught his surprised frown. “It’s true, I get it: you did something- or more bad things to people who care about you and… you ended up being excluded, somehow, for such a long time that, once you give more thought to it, you… you really regret your actions.

“And then you’re back to where it all happened, and you feel ashamed. Ashamed of yourself. You don’t believe people will forgive you. You don’t think they’ll accept you because… you don’t think you deserve it.”

Lars’ sobs ceased as she stopped talking. His eyes focusing on her then, from what she could tell from her glances every now and then.

“Is- “ He swallowed. “I-Is that… what happened to you? S-Since I’ve never… seen you around before…”

The blacksmith let out a deep, painful sigh. She wished she had some lava to dive on, but there was no fire other than the one from the fireplace and she was sure Greg wouldn’t be so pleased. She would have to do it later at her forge.

“You don’t- need to tell me,” Lars assured her, apprehensive towards her silence. She gave him a sad smile.

“No worries, pink boy. I don’t really mind sharing my issues.”

Bismuth straightened her back while Lars awaited in nervousness.

“You do remember I told you that I wanted to shatter the Diamonds?” She asked him, receiving his nod as a reply. “Well, since Rose was our leader, then you know where that would lead to.”

Lars’ eyes widened in realization and he let out a “Oh.”

Bismuth couldn’t help snorting, while aware of how serious the situation was. “After getting into a fight with her, she bubbled me away. She didn’t tell anyone what happened and tried to make it look like I disappeared in battle or whatever. It was then that Steven freed me, after finding me inside that giant cat’s mane. There’s that weird dimension there, right…”

“Yeah…” The captain touched his own pink hair.

“I’ve stayed in for a little while, we’ve had lots of fun. Steven taught me how to cook, how to play cards and we even watched that… film thing called Lonely Blade or something,” She smiled. It faded rather quickly. “Then I found out he had Rose’s sword and I became excited. Seeing how different he was from Rose, I thought I could… I could reason with him. I thought I could get him to join my cause to shatter the Diamonds. That never changed, even though I’d been bubbled for that.

“But Steven didn’t want to, and I got mad. I was too reckless and I thought he was Rose, I thought she was making a fool out of me again and…”

That last part was hard to speak up.

“… I tried to kill him.”

She couldn’t even look at Lars. Just saying that to other people aside from Steven was something she had promised herself never to do. She was glad that Greg wasn’t around to hear that. He didn’t know all the details, at least.

“And I ended up bubbled again,” Bismuth continued, gulping. “But it didn’t take long before Steven released me again. I couldn’t understand why he was so welcoming after that. He wanted to invite me to Garnet’s wedding and was going to make a ‘surprise’ for them, to reveal that I was back; but I couldn’t… I couldn’t face my friends after almost shattering their leader. And I was so frustrated because Steven tried so hard, and I didn’t feel like I deserved it. So, I fled to my forge.

“He managed to convince me though, so I… I was back here, and everyone saw me. I didn’t know how they would react; but you should’ve seen their faces, they were so happy to see me,” Bismuth laughed, remembering her friends’ tears of joy. “They wanted me back to the team. And I wouldn’t have known that if it weren’t for Steven.

“Even after what I did to him, he believed – and he does believe that I can do better. Rose didn’t give me a second chance, because she was… afraid. But Steven, he _is_ something else! Apart from the literal sense, that is.

“But, even then… I had to believe in myself. It wasn’t only Steven. _I_ had to accept the opportunity he gave me.”

Lars dried his tears, with… a hopeful look on his face. She grinned at him, seeing that her words were heard and thought by him with care.

“Listen, I can’t guarantee the exact same thing will happen, but you never know until you try, right? I never expected the gems to welcome me back, and I wouldn’t have done it if I hadn’t listened to Steven.

“We’ve done things we wish we’d never done to begin with, and it might be hard to accept them… but we’ve gotta move forward and give _ourselves_ a chance. Steven isn’t the only one that motivates us. It’s up to ourselves.”

He frowned, but not in disagreement. He was more thoughtful, not saying anything. Soon enough, his eyes were… bright again.

“Y… You’re right,” Lars said, his voice quiet, but no longer containing the same hatred towards himself. “I’ve… gotta give myself a chance.”

“That’s right, cap. But it’s okay to have some time to think about it, too. I’m not telling you to go to your home right now. You can stay here for as long as you need. Just… think about what I said to you, alright?”

He took time to respond with a nod and a… more confident look on his face. Although she could still sense a hidden fear, she could tell he was trying his best not to let it get out of control.

“Yeah. Okay,” He took a deep breath. “T… Thanks, Bismuth.”

She patted his back, her smile growing bigger. “No problem, captain Lars. Like I told you, you’re dignified. You just have to remember that yourself.”

He couldn’t contain the little smile that revealed itself on his face. It was a good sight to her, she thought.

“Now, go get some rest,” Bismuth told him. “I’ll warp to my forge and do what I have to do, but I won’t take long.”

“Okay,” He said, looking at Steven’s bed on the upper floor. “Well, I’ll take care of Lapis and Peridot for now, but after that, I don’t know if I’m going to sleep… y’know, because I’m pink and all.”

“It’s alright, you can rest and just have some alone time. I would invite you to get on the lava with me, but I don’t think you’re lava proof, am I right?”

“Yeah, I’m not,” He snorted. “Or… I don’t know, my body is really weird now. But it’s better to be safe.”

“That’s fair.”

He sat on the floor, as Lion moved itself to lay more comfortably. Bismuth headed to the warp pad, that was still intact; but, before she could warp herself to her beloved forge, she heard the door opening from the distance.

“Oh! You’re still awake. That’s good,” Greg said, relieved.

Bismuth turned away immediately, frowning.

“Greg? I thought you were going to sleep?” She asked, walking back to where she and Lars had stood.

“Well, I was, but… on the way, I bumped into some people. And, uh…”

He looked at Lars as he bit his own lip. Greg looked behind him. Bismuth couldn’t tell if there was someone with him, but she assumed that was the case.

“You’ve got a visitor, Lars,” The man told him.

The captain raised an eyebrow and stood up and was about to ask him something when Greg revealed the so-called visitor. Lars’ eyes widened, much to her surprise. Once she realized, she heard footsteps and found a short, blond woman, who wore dark clothing. The gem… could remember having seen her at Garnet’s wedding, but they had not interacted. She must be Steven’s friend – and Lars’, if she wanted to speak to him.

Both Lars and the woman were silent.

“S… S-Sadie?” Lars dared to speak, his voice abruptly shaky.

Sadie… that name had been mentioned when he described the people that cared about him. Her body stiffened as soon as she heard it spoken through his voice. It appeared that the two would begin crying at any moment.

They slowly approached one another. No, Sadie was the one who actually advanced; Lars was hesitant, afraid again. He even looked at Bismuth, as if he was desperate for help. The blacksmith smiled and moved her head towards Sadie, silently encouraging him to go for it.

“Oh my gosh,” The blond girl spoke, her voice too quiet. “You’re…”

The pink boy gulped, not taking a step forward. Sadie had tears in her eyes; they both had, honestly. However, she frowned at such a rapid rate, it even caught Bismuth by surprise.

“I- I can’t believe you!” Sadie snapped. “After all this time, you didn’t even go see your parents! Do you know how **worried** they’ve been with you in space?! Do you know how worried _I_ was?! I only knew you were back because Greg and- and Jenny, Buck and Sour Cream told me!”

“S-Sadie, I…”

“How can you do that?!”

“I just- I just learned what happened to Steven a-and- and I fought with the friends I met in space, a-and- I was too afraid to face you guys!”

“You can’t do that! You can’t just- not tell anyone that cares about you that you’re here!”

“L-Look, I’m sorry, okay?” Lars sniffed. “I… I was scared. I don’t know how much Steven told you and- and I didn’t know how you w-would react.”

“He… He told me what happened. He said you…”

She didn’t even finish the sentence, and Lars looked a lot more guilty.

“Oh, Lars…” Her voice broke.

“I’m sorry,” He sobbed. “I’m sorry for- for _everything_. I left you at the ship, I was a jerk to you, to everyone, a-and…”

Sadie pulled him for a tight hug, catching the captain by surprise; he even gasped.

“Don’t you ever do that again,” She told him. “I was worried sick!”

“I know,” He said. “I’m so sorry.”

“You jerk,” She hiccupped. “God, I’m- I’m so glad you’re back.”

Lars laughed. “I am, too.”

From the doorstep, Greg smiled at the scene. Bismuth felt relieved once she saw the two talking. From what she had witnessed, she could tell how much Lars and Sadie cared for one another. She was glad the two saw each other again.

He shot a glance to Bismuth, who grinned at him. He gave her a watered smile, as he was then crying in silence. Greg joined her, standing by her side while Lars and Sadie hugged one another. Suddenly, Pumpkin began barking, as it acknowledged Sadie’s presence. It approached her, startling her.

“Oh, gosh, I forgot Steven had that pumpkin,” She sighed in relief, leading Lars to laugh.

“I didn’t even know he had one.”

“Yeah, of course not.”

“Still, it’s pretty cute,” Lars rubbed the pumpkin’s head. “Don’t you think?”

Sadie smiled. “Yeah.”

Before anyone could say anything else, the group heard fast footsteps rushing upstairs outside. A tall figure showed up and gasped at the sight of Lars, entering the house immediately. It was then that Bismuth acknowledged it to be one of Lars’ friends. Rhodonite, as she remembered the Off Colors introducing themselves.

“C-Captain!” The fusion was relieved, but desperate all at same, appearing to have run a lot to get there. “Padparadscha and Fluorite told me you left, b-but we didn’t see you at the beach a-and I t-thought-!”

“Oh no, I’m sorry,” Lars shot her a remorseful gaze. “I forgot to tell you I was staying here.”

“I- I…”

Rhodonite took a while to breathe again, holding her own four hands in nervousness. She took slow steps towards Lars. He didn’t hesitate and awaited, though gulping.

“I’m- I-I’m really sorry, captain,” She said. “What I said to you wasn’t- I shouldn’t have-!”

“No, Rhodonite…” He tried to interrupt her, but failed, as she continued.

“I y-yelled at you. You were trying to help us feel better, but… I came off as extremely rude. What I did was unforgivable. I…” She hiccupped. “I-I understand if you want me out of the team. I’m honestly- _I’m_ the one who’s a coward, I was the one t-that kept holding us back this entire time, and-!”

“Rhodonite.”

She stopped as soon as she heard Lars’ voice, speaking out louder than her apologies. Rhodonite even straightened her back at his tone, but Bismuth could tell he wasn’t angry at her, as far as she was concerned.

The captain, rather than replying with words right away, wrapped his arms around her. A shocked gasp came out of the fusion.

 “I know I’m… I’m not the leader you guys wanted,” Lars told Rhodonite. “And I’m sorry that the one that inspired you so much turned out to be a huge lie – but I’ll never, ever abandon you guys.

“I would **never** kick you out of the team. You are more than just- a team, you’re my _family_.”

“L… Lars…”

She quickly broke down as well. She took some time to return the hug but didn’t appear to be so sure of how it was done. Lars didn’t seem to care, anyway; in fact, it did seem he was hugging her even tighter. Sadie only observed the scene, but with a sad smile on her face.

“And you’re not alone,” He continued, pulling her away to face her. “Nobody’s fine with what Rose did, but we’ll do what we have to do to protect the Earth while Steven is on Homeworld. We’ll get through this - _together_.”

Rhodonite gazed at him in awe, her tears rolling down her face. Bismuth could even spot a small, shaky smile coming from her.

“T… Together,” She repeated, sounding more confident as well.

“Yeah,” Lars smiled back.

“Captain!” “You’re here!” Rutile exclaimed as she and Padparadscha arrived at the house, with Fluorite outside.

“Hey, guys,” He said. “Sorry for not letting you know I was here…”

“At least… you’re safe…” Fluorite commented, relieved.

Pumpkin was barking at all of them in excitement and the cat greeted Rhodonite with a pleased ‘meow’. However, the gems didn’t take long to notice Sadie near Lars. The blond human brushed her own hair, shy. He put his hand on her back, to approach her and the Off Colors.

“Guys,” Lars smiled fondly at her. “This is Sadie.”

“H-Hi,” Sadie waved at the group of curious gems, who were awestruck. “It’s nice to meet you.”

They smiled and said ‘hi’ back, with the exception of Padparadscha; who, within a few seconds, claimed loud to everyone present in the room:

“I predict we will meet the human Sadie – and she will be as beautiful as how captain Lars describes her!”

A noise of utter regret could be heard from Lars, whose face became a much darker pink and that was soon hidden by his hands. Bismuth couldn’t contain the loud laughter that echoed afterwards. Padparadscha, in spite of predicting things that had already happened, was a smart gem. The other Off Colors giggled as well, and Sadie snorted, her cheeks pink. Greg watched it with delight instead of laughing. Bismuth just loved to see how embarrassed Lars was.

“I can’t believe I have my first embarrassment after months in space,” He complained, but not containing the wide smile on his face.

“Get used to it,” Sadie teased, bumping his arm with her elbow.

“Well, Lars did talk a lot more about you, too,” Rhodonite added, smirking.

“ _O-Okay, that’s enough_!!” His voice was a pitch higher, much to Bismuth’s entertainment. She had never expected she would see the captain like that, and it was just amazing.

“Yeah, we should all get ourselves to rest,” Greg let out a relieved sigh.

“We will head back to our ship shortly, too,” Rutile replied. “We just came to get captain Lars.”

“W-Wait, actually…” Lars rubbed the back of his neck, looking away for a moment as he took some time to think before saying what he wanted to say. “I think I…

“… I’ll go at my parents’ place.”

“Oh?” The Off Colors said, surprised. Sadie observed him in silence.

“You’ve changed your mind?” Greg asked.

“Yeah. I’ve… thought about it and I’ll go home. E-Even though I’m… not sure how they’ll react, well…”

Lars looked at Bismuth.

“I’ll be giving it a chance,” He said, smiling at her.

Bismuth returned it with delight and winked.

“I’ll go with you if you need support,” Sadie offered herself. “I don’t think Steven had a lot of time to tell them what actually happened with so much stuff happening…”

“Yeah, I sort of expected that,” Lars smirked.

“Well, we will be at the ship if you need us,” Rhodonite said. “So, you can talk to your family.”

“Alright, then,” Lars concluded. “Let’s go.”

“Good night, y’all!” Greg told them.

“Good night! Thank you for everything,” Lars smiled at Greg and Bismuth, and waved. “We’ll see you tomorrow!”

“Yeah, we’ve got a lot of work to do,” Bismuth reminded them. “But we can do it! We’re the _Crystal Gems_!”

The Off Colors cheered in agreement. With that, Lars, the gems and Sadie all left, leaving Greg and Bismuth. behind. As they were finally on their own, the two let out a breath they had been holding for a long time.

“Today was another long day… but I’m glad to have Lars back,” Greg commented. “And that everything was sorted out.”

“Me too.”

Behind them, Lion yawned loudly and shifted itself on the couch. Greg smiled at the giant feline and rubbed his own eye.

“Well, I’ll be having my beauty sleep now,” He snorted. “Good night, Bismuth.”

“’Night, Greg.”

He was the last one to leave the house, thus only Bismuth remained there. The house was quiet and peaceful; that is, before Pumpkin reached her and craved affection. She was glad to give it to the excited vegetable.

“Hey, little fella,” Bismuth said. “You sure have a lot of energy, huh?”

It barked as if it confirmed her statement. She then had an idea.

“Well, how ‘bout you look after your buddies over there with Lion?” She pointed at Peridot and Lapis on the table. “I’ll just get something done real quick.”

Even though it didn’t speak her language, the pumpkin appeared to have understood her order. It had its eyes focused on the two gems and remained there, not distracting itself over anything else. Bismuth nodded in approval. The small cat jumped on Lion’s mane and lied on it, closing its blue eye. The blacksmith just loved those small guys. They always lifted her mood.

Before heading to the forge, however, Bismuth’s eyes were gazing at Rose’s portrait on the wall. She let out a sigh.

“Well, Rose,” She said, knowing it was nothing more than a drawing, but spoke nonetheless. “You did make a huge mess… but I have to thank you for introducing me to all these wonderful friends. And for bringing Steven to this world.”

With that said, Bismuth gave the painting a last, complex but genuine smile and made her way to the warp pad, which lead her to her forge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it, for now!
> 
> You must have noticed that I included this story in a new series, meaning that I'll be working on a sequel eventually! I did want to have it posted before the _Diamond Days_ special aired, but I'm afraid it won't be up so soon. I'm very excited to work on it, though!
> 
> Thank you very much for your comments and feedback, I appreciate them with gratefulness!
> 
> Until next time!


End file.
